


What did I do?!

by AAThanatos



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Bianca di Angelo - Freeform, Blood, Boy x boy, Cutting, Death, Demons, Doctor - Freeform, Drug Dealer, Drugs, Funny, Gay, Gore, Hades - Freeform, Healing, Heroes of Olympus, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, LGBTQ, Love, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mommy Issues, Nightmares, PJO, Persephone - Freeform, Pills, Rape, Rick Riordan - Freeform, Rituals, Self Harm, Self-Acceptance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sharing, Slash, Snark, Son of Apollo, Son of Hades, Suicide Attempt, Vacations, Virginity, apollo - Freeform, boyfriend - Freeform, magnus chase - Freeform, melinoe - Freeform, naomi Solace - Freeform, self love, soangelo - Freeform, solangelo, trials of apollo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-11-20 00:57:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11325336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAThanatos/pseuds/AAThanatos
Summary: Nico Di Angelo is on a journey of healing with the help of Will Solace. This is a story of their relationship born out of self harm and hatred. Watch Will and Nico help eachother through each other's demons. Lots of ups and downs with a cute cross over when the boys end up visiting Valhalla!





	1. What did I do

**Author's Note:**

> This is a realistic view of someone who self harms and has gone through major trauma. Later chapters you get a bit of sexy time but nothing to explicit... more heavily implied.

I couldn't do it. It was to hard! Everything was to hard. To much going on at once to many noises to many people to many eyes looking at him everywhere he went! Why didn't he just let himself fade he thought to himself. Why did have to save him! Stupid Will Solace with his stupid curly blonde hair and stupid blue eyes and stupid fucking smile. I was so diluted thinking he could possibly actually want to be my friend!

I should have known I was kidding myself. How could he possibly think I could make a friend! Or even more than a friend. I'm to broken. The very thought of pushing my darkness on him filled my mouth with a sour taste. I should know better than to try to get to know people or to let them know me. The disgust on his face when he examined me. Tracing the scars on my body like I was 3D map of horror.

People don't get it! I was alone I was homeless I did what I had to to survive! I'm tired of surviving. It's to much. The only good thing I've ever done is give my sister a second chance at life. Everything else went to shit after the war. Hazel never contacts me. To busy with Frank. Percy is avoiding me ever since I let it slip I had a crush on him. Jason is stuck up Pipers ass not that he cares to much about me anyway. All these people are to good. To wonderful. To together to be able to allow me into their worlds.

I can barely get out of bed most days. Mostly I train at night just to work off the extra energy. I've spent a large portion draining myself trying to summon my mother. A mother..my mother. They say the phrase "a face only a mother could love" well I guess my mother couldn't love me. It's not even like Bianca where I could tell she was avoiding me I can't seem to find her at all! I can't remember the last time I had any real human contact. The last hug was from Hazel and I'm sure it was out of pity or manners. The silence in my cabin was deafening and the noise on my head was to loud.

I just want to feel something other than this.. this hopelessness. It's a glimmer of what tartarus was like. Everyone thinks of that place like it's fire and brimstone version of hell but what they don't get is that it's so much worse. Especially when your a child of hades and you don't get the watered down version but the straight directors cut. It's memories and thoughts turned against you. It's Hope drowned and beaten to a bloody pulp. It's what emptiness wants to be when it grows up. It's the absence of absolution.

I'm so tired. I feel like I'm walking through Jello. Everything is to bright it burns. Prickles on my skin and constant discomfort. Why can't it just be straight pain! I can deal with pain I know pain! This is so much harder than pain. It's being raised on chaos only to have it removed and your floundering for some sort of madness to keep you sane. I'm not sane. I know that. They say that crazy people don't know they are crazy. That's not exactly true. Sometimes we know what we are doing is wrong we just can't do anything about it. Almost like an out of body experience of seeing yourself do something stupid and your screaming at yourself to stop it and you can't hear it. So your paralyzed just watching yourself make a huge mistake that you probably can't take back. That's how I feel right now. The numbness has spread and I'm on the bathroom floor about to do something really stupid.

I can hear voices outside but I ignore them. They even sound familiar. Happy. Something I can never be no matter how hard I try. I can feel the hot tears falling down my cheeks wishing someone could help me. Anyone. I can't help myself. It's to hard. The words are permanently stuck in my throat unable to escape. Help. Stop me. Love me. Care about me. No one can hear.

Things go dark for a while. I'm not sure how long I've been here. I'm still crying though. I'm crying and there is blood all over the place. It takes me a moment to realize it's mine. I still can't feel anything. What did I do! The white tile on the bathroom is smeared with red. It's on the floor and all over my skin. I can't even see my own skin color it's so spread out. It's on the sink and the mirror. My bathtub is painted with my pain. With my darkness. I try to scream. I can't. It comes out as a whimper.

Help

Stop me

See me

Help me

I don't want to die

I don't want to live

I'm tired

I'm sleepy

I'm scared

Stop me

Help

Please!

The edges of my vision are blurry and black spots dance around them. I can hear voices again by they are muffled. All I can smell is rust and metal. I hear more voices this time only these are clear. The clearest I've ever heard. All coming from inside me. Surrounding me in this moment.

Let go

Cut deeper

Give in

Close your eyes

Give up

No one loves you

No one likes you

Your a burden

End it

End the pain

End the numb

I try to stand. I slip and stumble I'm not even sure I made a noise or not. I'm sitting on the toilet now with the seat down. To much blood. To much red. I peel my tshirt off and wrap my arm in it. I don't have anything to wrap the other one. So many openings. What did I do.. why did I do this..I'm so alone. No one will find me. I went to far. I can feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. The scene flickers in front of me. I'm on the toilet. I'm infront of Will. I'm on the toilet. I'm in the woods. I'm on the toilet. I can hear steps. Footsteps outside the door.

The door busts open.

"He's in here!"

A blur of gold rushes toward me. I can feel hands. Warm hands. I'm so cold. So cold. I'm shaking. Hot tears fresh fall again. Sobs escape as I feel the warm hands. Kind words fill me ears. I must be dying. Dying feels good. The kind words and warm tone wash over me. So this is dying. Why didn't I do this sooner.

"I've got you it's going to be ok"

"What happened to him!"

"Shut up and get me stretcher!"

Warm hands.. warm breath.

"You're going to be fine Nico I found you"

He found me.

A golden angel found me.

I'll finally see my mom again.

Blackness

My eyes won't open. I feel heavy. To heavy. I can't move. I can hear though. What's going on? Where am I? I'm floating. I died. I had to of. But why can't I move? I hear them.

(Initials will be used so you know who's talking)

JG: When will he wake up?

WS: Soon I think. Next few hours I think.

PJ: What happened?

WS: What do you think happened Percy.

PJ: No he had to have been attacked or something

WS: He wasn't attacked guys. I found the knife. It was right next to him.

JG: but why?

WS: We are going to have to wait and find out. I can only guess right now. Don't worry guys I got to him in time. He will pull through this time.

PJ: This time?! You don't think there is going to be a next time do you!?

WS: Dude I'm more than certain this wasn't even the first time.

JG: I don't understand he could have came to any of us

WS: That's not how his works Grace. Sometimes things like this are unavoidable. Especially with a past like his. Nico has been alone for a long time. Honestly I'm not completely certain this was an attempt it might have just been an episode that went to far. We won't know until he tells us. Worst part is he might not tell us.

PJ: Why wouldn't he tell us?!

WS: For the same reason this happened in the first place. He's alone.

JG: HES NOT ALONE!

WS: Look at him! Look at him closely Jason! Nico feels alone! This isn't going to go away overnight either! It's going to take time. Time I'm willing to put in whether you two decide you want to or not! I'm not letting this go! I don't care if it takes me years I'm going to do everything in my power to keep this from happening again!

PJ: We are his friends Will! We care about him just like you!

WS: I know you care about him I know he's your friend guys but this isn't about you and it's not even about how good of friends you are this is deeper than that! Now if you will excuse me my patient needs rest. I'll call for you guys later but right now I need you to leave.

JG: You can't make us leave Will this isn't the infirmary this is Nicos cabin! We can stay if we want!

WS: AND I AM HIS DOCTOR AND IM TELLING YOU TO LEAVE UNTIL I CALL YOU!

PJ: promise me you will get us when he's ready!

WS: I promise. The only reason he's here instead of in the infirmary is because it was to dangerous to move him to far. That and I don't think he wants everyone knowing about this. It will only upset him more. I have permission to watch him and stay with him. Kayla and Austin are bringing me supplies and keeping Chiron informed. You wanna help? Go get one of the cleaning harpies to get me some bleach and a bucket with a sponge. I need to clean that bathroom up.

I heard them leave. If I had enough blood still I'm sure I was blushing from embarrassment. They knew. Damnit.

I could feel Wills hand in mine. Tracing patterns into my palm. He was talking to me. We were alone.

WS: You really scared the shit out of me. Thank gods I found you in time. I know you can hear me.

I tried to open my eyes. I was propped up in my bed with an IV hanging out of me and monitors beeping. It was blurry at first but his face finally came into focus. Will was covered in blood. My blood. Pain etched on his face staring at me. Looking down I see that I have a blanket on my legs but I'm naked underneath.

"Why am I naked?"

"I had to check you to see if you had wounds elsewear. I like the tattoo on your ass it's cute"

Shit I didn't even think of that.

"Yeah well it was an impulsive decision"

"Yeah you seem to be making a lot of those as of late"

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"Pieces"

"Well I was in the infirmary. Then you appeared in the dark corner covered in blood and then you disappeared again. I thought I imagined it but Kayla saw it too and I realized you were shadow traveling without realizing it. I went straight to your cabin. I found you on the floor in a sort of dissociative state cut to shreds.

You started to seize and then I wrapped my arms around you and called on my father for help. I began to glow with what I can only assume was a blessing from my father from the desperation I was calling out to him in. Your wounds started to close and you stopped convulsing. I could feel your blood pressure returning to normal and your heartbeat getting stronger. I knew you would be ok. I set you up in here. Stripped you and hooked you up to some saline and painkillers. I also have you on some anti anxiety meds too to keep you calm. "

"Did I do it to myself?"

"Yeah I think you did" his voice broke in the middle.

"I-I'm so s-sorry" I stuttered with fresh years pricking my eyes.

"I believe you."

"I- I- I..."

"Shush shush no don't! Not right now you need to rest and not get worked up!"

"I'm alone Will. I'm so alone!" I started to sob deep heaving body wracking bursts of emotion.

Standing up he took his shirt off and climbed into the bed next to me pulling me to his chest.

"Hey hey hey there just listen to my heart beating ok try to focus on my heartbeat"

I wrapped my arms around him not caring if I was wearing clothes or not. His strong arms around my frail lithe figure I cried a river down his front trying to hear his heart. Trying to focus like he wanted me to but it wasn't working. Years of emotion and loneliness rushed out of me barring myself in my most vulnerable state. I could feel him peppering kisses on my forehead telling me it was ok. To let it out. To hold on to him as long as I needed.

I don't remember falling asleep. I awoke with him still beside me. Only now I was wearing boxers. A flush came over me realizing everything that had gone on in the last 24 hours. Embarrassment filled me. My friends knew. Will knew. The worst part is I didn't feel much different. Lighter I guess just a bit. Like some weight was taken off but I was still surrounded by the doubt filled voices. Now they were screaming about how weak I am. How pitiful i seem.

Next to the bed was a table with a little cup of pills on it and a glass of water. A small sign was beside them reading "Eat me! Drink me! Doctors orders !" I chuckled at the reference. I don't get many pop culture jokes but Alice and Wonderland has been around since before I was born. I looked at the pills carefully. I had a pink one shaped like a heart and a yellow one with a smiley face on it. What are these? Unnoticed by me Will had awoken. I guess he saw my confusion and cause me to jump with his explaination.

"The pink ones are for any infections and the yellow are for mood. I make them myself. Herbs and powders infused with nectar, unicorn horn, and Apollo hymns. And love don't forget the love! I have blue ones for you to take later for when you sleep. They give you a dreamless sleep. Had to work with the Hypnos kids on that one. Took forever they keep falling asleep."

I downed the pills during his explanation.

"These taste like ass"

"Oh really? Know from experience?"

"Fuck off Solace"

"I'm just kidding. They do taste awful. That's how you know they work. If it hurts it's working!"

"So how long was I out" I said in a serious manner. Trying to get back to the subject at hand. I would rather kill the elephant in the room instead of look at it.

"Well I would say from last time about 6 hours. Before that about 20."

"It's Friday!?"

"Yes sir it is. But you look a lot better now. Color is back and all. Your dad stopped by, almost gave me a heart attack. He sat with you for a while and cleaned up the bathroom for me. Said I've done enough that he could handle it."

"My dad came by?!"

"Yeah he was super worried but i assured him you would be fine."

"Well thanks for everything. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot"

"Why did you take your shirt off?"

"Cause skin to skin contact helps when someone is freaking out. It's easier to hear a heartbeat easier to focus. Plus your always really cold. You can hear up another person easier skin to skin. "

"I.. did not know that"

"Yeah it was medical reasons. Not that I don't like a naked guy hugging me but you know.. know time wrong scene." He shrugged. Still with that stupid fucking smile on his face.

"Yeah well that was your fault."

"It was but I had to make sure you were ok."

"Well if you just give me the pills you want me to take and tell me how to take them you can go back to your cabin."

"That's hilarious deathboy! I'm not going anywhere!"

"Will I'm fine! See cuts are all healed up you did a good job. I'm not going to do it again."

"Nope sorry the standard is 72 hour watch. Your stuck with me. Plus from what you said you didn't even realize that you were the one doing it. What if you have another episode? I can't take that chance. So your stuck with me for a few days."

"You have already been here for 26 hours will you can't spend another two days with me."

"Actually you have only really been conscious this last hour so your 72 starts now."

"You can't be serious?!"

"I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant"

The 72 hours with Will actually wasn't as bad as I thought. It was rough don't get me wrong but it wasn't that bad. Mainly he just gave me pills and we watched movies and he would do check ups and talk. I found out a lot about him and I told him way to much about me. I guess part of this was supposed to be therapy. My dad stopped by and we had a moment together of him telling me to listen to Will and that I didn't have to do everything alone. Also he offered for me to come live with him for a while but Will convinced him that sunlight was a big deal and being around people who were alive.

I noticed when I went to the bathroom the first time that Will had removed all sharp objects in my cabin. Will would follow me to the bathroom. Not really to watch me as much as make sure I was ok. I was weak from the blood loss. I hate to admit it but he had to help me shower. I made him promise not to look the whole time even though it was obvious he had seen my body. Luckily he was very professional about it.

When it was time for him to go I felt a bit of the loneliness creep back. I hated to admit it but I wanted him to stay. I wanted to hear his bad jokes and his awful chuckle and all the boring medical stuff he rambles on about. I wanted him to slip in the bed beside me when my nightmares would come. To put his fingers through my hair he way he had come to favor these past few days. I want to feel his lips against my forehead again. It's an innocent gesture but.. it was the first time since I was ten that someone kissed me. Wills arms were the first to really embrace me in so so long. I wanted him to stay.

"By tomorrow morning I'll be out of your hair deathboy! I will be keeping tabs on you though. I expect bi weekly therapy with me or Kayla or Austin and I will be checking on your meds. I will know if you haven't been taking them."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah"

"So besides all that I guess this is goodbye right?"

"Um well except for the appointments and my days off"

"Your days off"

"Yeah cause I'll be here on my days off from the infirmary. Can you cook cause I get off work early on Fridays around 6 so it would be nice if you could have dinner for me on those days. Your kitchen in here is better than any other cabin so I figured you can cook."

"Yeah I guess I could.. wait a second! Why on earth am I making you dinner!?"

"Because I'm hungry Nico."

"Yeah but.. I'm confused?"

"I'm not"

"Well then please explain"

"Well I like hanging out with you so I'll be here a lot. I want to get to know you better."

"Why?"

"Cause your smart and your funny and really hot"

"Wha.. what the fu.." I stammered and blushed at the hot comment.

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I've.. are you?... this is all really overwhelming!"

"Making a friend is overwhelming!"

"Yes quite frankly it is especially with your last comment!"

"Yeah well I'm an Apollo kid I can't lie. None of us can."

"Like at all?"

"Nope I've tried it's actually impossible."

"So are you?"

"Yeah I am"

"And you?"

"Yeah I do"

"Even though?"

"Yup"

"But how"

"Don't know just cause"

"Really?"

"Yeah surprised me to. But what can ya do"

"Really?"

"Yup"

"So are you..?"

"Can't officially until tomorrow but yeah"

"Why not until tomorrow?"

"Cause then your not in my care. And if you say yes I'll transfer your care to Austin"

"Well then"

"Yup so get some sleep take your blue pill and I'll discharge you in the morning"

"Ok" I smiled. I've never had such a weird conversation with anyone. It's like he knew every question in my head we barely had to explain anything. So Will Solace wants to ask me out.. like on a date.. me.

The next morning he had me take my shirt off to check my healed wounds.

"How can you stand looking at them?"

"Wounds or scars?"

"Both"

"Well wounds are easy they are like a puzzle I need to solve. The scars are a story and I like reading stories. Plus yours are super impressive honestly. I'm not sure how your still alive. You have what looks like sword slashes and lycon claw marks and burns. I'm impressed you survived all that. As for the self inflicted ones.. well Nico we all have our demons. You just wear your your skin. I don't judge you for what you did. You have been through so much in awe that it didn't happen sooner. But now I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again. And if I can't then I'll make sure you survive the next time to"

"I'm broken Will. How could you want to.."

"Ask you out. Easy. I think your worth it."

My blush at his words extended all over my body. He looked down at his watch.

"5..4..3..2..1! Your officially out of my care Neeks!"

"Your special.. you have problems"

"I do and I am but that's all for another time."

"What's it time for now?"

"Oh I'm glad you asked"

Standing up he took my face in his hands. With his thumbs he made cherishing circles on my cheeks. My heart rate shot up. Breathing was getting hard to do. Skeletal butterflies flitted around my stomach know what was coming. It's like time slowed down and he moved in slow motion. Leaning down with no hesitation he licked his lips and placed them softly on mine. Sparks shocked my lips all the way to my groin. My eyes fluttered closed as I returned the kiss memorizing the way his lips felt. Soft and warm.

Kneeling down he straddled my waist even though he is about 17 feet taller than I. The kiss was slow yet powerful. Deepening the kiss I felt his tongue slip into my mouth and I found myself tangling mine with his. Tickling the roof of my mouth with the tip of his tongue a moan escaped my mouth and a he reacted by nibbling on my lower lip. Breaking away he came back for one last chaste kiss like he was sealing a deal. I couldn't speak I was still caught up in the moment of my first real kiss.

"I knew you would be a good kisser. I'll pick you up later for the bonfire. Wear that cute black tank top I saw in your wardrobe."

Getting up he walked out of my cabin while I was still paralyzed on my bed. Maybe it was the meds. Maybe it was the loneliness fading away. Maybe it was just a moment but that was the best moment of my life. Who knew that you could have one of the worst things you have ever done and he best hung you have ever experience happen within the same few days. I leaned back and screamed into my pillow. I guess they were right... it does get better.


	2. What really happened to Maria Di Angelo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico has been trying to contact his dead mother much like when he tried to contact Bianca. To no avail he finds out the truth of why he can't find her in the underworld.

Trigger warning.

self harm

mention of vomit

crude humor

cussing! Always cussing! Cause real teens cuss!

Enjoy!

What really happened to Maria Di Angelo

Things were going ok. But just ok. Things are moving very slowly. Chiron has taken my weapons until further notice and I've had to resort to training with wooden instruments. Will had a schedule for me. I guess to make things easier. It was nice in all honesty it kept me from dwelling to much and kept my mind busy. I keep tracing the scars I left behind. How could I have hurt myself so badly and not remember most of it. I'm not going to lie to myself or anyone else trust I haven't done similar things to myself in the past but I usually remember it.

The worst part is even after the kiss with Will and the elation of someone liking me more than a friend but I was still feeling very empty. It was more like a constant emptiness that was filled only when Will was around. Will couldn't be around all the time though. I had some issues being by myself yet I couldn't bring myself to be around other people. I've resorted to wearing earplugs when around large groups to keep the noises down. The yellow happy pills that Will makes are keeping the intrusive thoughts away.

Also it seems I have a babysitter most of the day but they are being nice enough about it that they "subtly" catch me alone and force me to hang out with them or need my "help with something." Annabeth finds me in the morning than switches with Percy just to hand me off to Jason and Piper. Will takes me at night most days sometimes switching with Clovis which came out of fucking nowhere!

Clovis actually stayed awake when he was on baby sitting duty and was actually a pretty interesting guy. I guess going through people's dreams he finds out everything about everyone. Also he had seen mine. So he understood about my nightmares and how intense and terrifying they were.

I kept trying to summon my mother only to fail over and over again. One night I tried so hard my fingertips faded and Will spent all night singing them back to form. I wore my earplugs.

Then things started to turn again.

I woke up after a rough night to stretching my powers to far trying to find my mother only to find my step mother sitting at the edge of my bed picking petals out of a daisy. Persephone never seemed to warm to be usually referring to me as "that boy" infront of who ever was around. I couldn't blame her. I was proof of my fathers constant infidelity even though he worked so hard to win her. She was scarier than people think. Skin pale as milk and hair a dark brooding chocolate. Her eyes were purple like pansies. Objectively she was beautiful but more ethereal and terrifying.

"Hello Niccolo"

"Hi um.. ma'am "

"Niccolo I'm your stepmother you can call me Persephone"

"Ok.. can I help you? Did father send you to check on me?" I pulled my covers over me as if they could protect me.

"I've been seeing you trying to Summon Maria."

"Yeah well I'm going through something and t would be nice to talk to my mother and I'm lucky enough to be in the position to be able to call upon the dead so.."

"Your not going to find her dear"

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't exist anymore" a tear rolled down her cheek.

"What does that mean?" My face began to heat and my body started trembling. This was going to be very bad news I knew it. The worst part is when you can see it coming and that stone sits in the bottom of your stomach. Bile started to water in my mouth at her impending announcement.

"Do you know why only children of the underworld can use Stygian Iron?"

"Yeah because they vanquish monsters like permanently. It's why echnida hates us all so much we kill her children and she never sees them again."

"Correct but what you don't know is that it vanquishes all souls. Human and monsters alike"

"Our weapons can't be used on mortals. They pass right through."

"On this plain yes but when in the underworld they can destroy souls permanently"

"Are you saying my father vanquished my mother's soul?!" I almost shouted my voice breaking.

"No Niccolo. I vanquished her" tears were flowing free from her face now landing in patters on my blanket causing little flowers and herbs to bloom on my blanket.

"Why! Why would you do that! She was nothing to you! Father has had affair after affair and I know that most of them are still on the underworld! Hazels mother is still in Asphodel!" Out of my mind in grief at her words I sat up and grabbed at her. My hands tangled in her perfect hair making her look at me directly in the eye.

"Tell me! Tell me or so help me!"

"Because he was going to leave me for her! Hades had never conceived two children from the same woman! He loved her! Loved her more than me!"

"He defied the gods for you! He stole you away he hid you from them and tricked you into eating the seeds to keep you with him! He loves you! "I shouted in her face.

"Not enough. He didn't love me enough Niccolo. Ever since I vanquished her he won't touch me. Barely looks at me. Never speaks to me unless he has to. I messed up. And from the looks of it I hurt more than just him. I see you suffering and I'm so so sorry. I can't offer you much Niccolo but... you need a mother. I can't replace her and I know you hate me in this moment. But if you will let me I want to extend my hand to you. To be your mother. Adopt you so to speak. I'm so sorry Niccolo but I know your having a hard time and I'm sorry to make it harder in the moment but I felt you deserved the truth so that you knew that searching was futile. You deserve the truth more than anyone."

"I don't want your truth or your hand or anything from you! You deserve his distaste. Your not a goddess your a monster! A monster that took away a child's possible peace of mind that he could be loved!"

"You are loved Nico! Your father loves you. Your people here to love you! Even I.. I do love you. Your remind me of him. The softer side of him. The side I've loved for centuries. I know it will take time but please think of my offer. Consider it. It will always be on the table and nothing you can do can make me reconsider."

I spat on her face.

"Leave..now" it came out barely a whisper.

In a swirl of light and shadows she dissipated infront of me leaving the end of my bed covered in moss and greenery. Great that will never wash out. I'll be sleeping in a flower blanket for the rest of my stay here.

My breathing started to quicken as my tears fell and my ears rang at the news. My mother was gone. Permanently. I wouldn't even see her in the afterlife when I died. Never again would I lay eyes on my mother. I could barely even remember what she looked like. Her voice all but gone from my mind. My first language is all I have left of her. It's bad enough I may never see Bianca again since she was reborn but there was a chance.

I don't even remember running to the bathroom. I came to and realized there was vomit in the toilet and my knuckles were bloody. My ribs felt bruised and I was more ham certain my knuckles and parts of my hands were also broken. I was never going to catch a break it seemed. I started hitting my head against the wall hoping to knock myself out. I didn't want to be conscious right now I didn't want to feel right now. All I could do is wish for the numb to come back but it all seemed like my skin was peeled back and every nerve exposed and rubbing alcohol was being poured over it.

Hate and fear and pain all swallowed into one and I couldn't heave my stomach enough to expel it. I either needed more pain or none at all and neither were really an option. People never would understand why I like to hurt myself. It's a controlled pain. A way of telling myself that the only person that could hurt me is me. Like bringing a problem inside to the surface showing it on the outside. Making yourself as ugly in the outside to show all the ugliness that lies within. Then watching it heal. It's soothing. Like the problem is healing too. Then it goes away. Gone but not forgotten. A scar to remember that problems can heal and go away.

They never really go away though. Especially in my case. I couldn't move. I was exhausted. Bloody and crying on the bathroom floor again. Always me. Forever on some bathroom floor. On the floor covered in scantily clad shame. I could feel something hot run down from my forehead. I must have split my forehead open pounding my head.

Footsteps.

His footsteps.

Fresh shame came over me. Once again he would find me here. Maybe this time he would see how hopeless I am. Like everyone else he would leave. The thought made me want to vomit again even though I have nothing else to retch.

The door creaking open he rushed to me. Flushing the toilet he lowered the seat and sat me on it. Grabbing the mouth wash and a cup he made me swish and rinse and few times wordlessly. Placing the cup on the vanity he pulled me up and walked me to my bed. Sitting me at the head board and placing my legs in front of me he reached into his medical pouch and pulled out a few things.

"Will.. I"

"I already know. She explained to me what happened. I came as soon as she was gone."

"You knew this would happen huh?"

"Oh I was more than sure of it. Honestly I'm more surprised I don't have more to clean up. I'm kind of proud of you."

"Proud?! Are you fucking stupid! My hands are broken and I split my head open trying to knock myself out!"

"Yeah and I kind of expected he room to also be trashed too. One less thing I have to clean up. Thank you for not trashing the room. How much do you remember about hurting yourself?"

"Wait.. wha.. um.. I only remember the head wound. I don't remember my hands."

"Good that means that your zoned states are getting shorter and your snapping out of things quicker."

"Do you always see the good side to everything? It's annoying as fuck"

This entire time he is cleaning my cuts and applying creams and pastes to my cuts.

"Yes I'm annoying as fuck Nico. I'm also super hungry. I brought lunch."

"You mean breakfast?"

"No I mean it's 1 in the afternoon and I made sandwiches and pasta salad."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because if I don't these won't heal prope.." I cut him off

"You know what I mean!"

"Because Nico this isn't something that goes away like a headache. It's more like it goes away like cancer. It takes months of chemo and radiation to cure cancer. Not a single aspirin. This is going to take a long time Nico. I knew that getting into it and I'm going to see it through whether you like it or not."

"You deserve better"

"We except the love we feel we deserve"

"Is that a fucking bumper sticker?"

"No its a quote from a good book. You should read one sometime."

"So what you think you deserve stress and pain and a hopeless case"

"I think you think you deserve better. I think you think you deserve to be happy. Which is why you accept my help. You accept my affection and you enjoy spending time with me"

"Someone thinks a lot of themselves"

"I have enough self esteem for the both of us."

"What do you want from me Will?"

He put down the gauze and creams. Looking thoughtful for a moment he finally spoke.

"I want to go to the movies with you. I want to hold your hands no matter how broken and bloody they are. I want to be the one you scream to when everything is to much. I want to kiss you when your sad and hug you when you need it. You think your broken but your not. You are... misarranged so to speak. Your pieces are whole Nico they are just in the wrong places. I want to help you put them back the right way. The heart wants what the heart wants and at the end of the day I would rather be cleaning blood off your knuckles than laughing with anyone else."

Fresh tears welled in my eyes and my throat tightened at his words. Trying to break the seriousness I flicked at his medical pouch.

"Those are deep words from a guy wearing a fanny pack"

"Those are fighting words from someone who can barely move"

"Oh you wanna fight me"

"Oh yeah.. and I don't fight fair by the way"

"You are not a fighter Will"

"No but I will tickle the shit out of you."

"Don't you fucking dare!"

"Then leave the fanny pack out of it sir"

"Oh blow me"

"Don't tempt me"

Blush

"We are not quite there yet my dear."

"Ya... well.. I... um"

"Your adorable when your flustered"

"Shut up Will"


	3. Where Bianca lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico gets a hard dose of reality when Will does some research hoping it will help heal Nico.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will need to go to google translate for the Italian parts. Just know that's it's Nico really angry and venting.

Where Bianca lies

It's been a month since my last episode and things are going as well as they can be. Will also made me some new meds that help with my powers and keep them from draining me. Like instant no fade pills. Also he made them black with red stars in the middle just to be a dick. Says it matches my personality. The dating thing is surprisingly good. Will seems to be the only one that can touch me without me reacting badly. I find myself leaning into his touch. That and the kissing oh my gods the kissing! I never once thought I'd ever kiss anyone no matter how much I wanted to and boom here is this golden boy just smothering me with affection no matter how much I've tried to push him away. It's like the more I try the more insistent he becomes.

Sadly I haven't seen Will at night all week. Usually I see him at dinner and then he has this "project" he's doing that he says I can't know about until he has all the details worked out. Says it's for my therapy. I hate therapy. Austin usually takes me twice a week coming over to my cabin trying to get me to eat stuff for him. I hate eating. Feels like shards of glass cutting my throat. Makes me feel heavy and weighed down. Will is insisting I try shakes to substitute. That was one thing I was on bored with. Drinking is much easier than eating.

I do have a secret though... ice cream. I love ice cream. And McDonald's. Will brings me happy meals when I haven't eaten in a few days. People don't get it. In Tartarus what looks like good isn't food. I would try to eat and it would turn into something else. Or when I was in the Jar. One seed a day. It's hard to just start shoveling food into your mouth after experiences like that. Austin and I discuss the jar the most because it's more common knowledge than tartarus and he knows I'm not ready to talk about that with him. Hell ok not ready to talk to Will about that either.

I can't be on inclosed places very well. I usually leave the bathroom door open because of it. I'd rather someone see me pissing than feel the walls closing in. My zoned out states have all but vanished. So far I haven't lost time since my visit with Persephone. Bianca used to tell me to let my grudges go... that they were my fatal flaw. Austin told me it's ok not to be ready to forgive her as long as I work towards it in the future. My stepmother can go fuck herself! I'm trying to ween myself off the sleepless dream pills. I have to learn to control my dreams. For fuck sake it's one of my powers for crying out loud I should be able to get a grip on it. Chiron told me that I can opt out of camp activities until Will says I'm up for it. It's a relief. I don't think I can focus on archery and lava walls right now. I still train at night with a few zombies. Got to keep spry.

Will breaks me from my reverie.

"Where were you just now?"

"I guess just in my head going over everything that's happened this month. What are you doing here isn't it your "project time"

"Actually I finished it and I want to talk to you about it"

"Ok"

I scooted to the top of my bed and leaned against the headboard feeling cold wood against my back. It smelled like poplar.

Climbing onto my bed Will leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips before sitting in front of me cross legged. Heat flooded my body at his quick contact. Will I ever get sick of that?

"So I need you to come with me somewhere. Like out of state. It's why I made those pills for you. Keep you strong for this trip. We are going to stay over night."

My eyes were the size of plates as those words sunk in.. is he trying to say...

"Whoa! No no that's not what I'm implying! Two beds same room. Or if you prefer to stay in a bed with me that's fine but no I'm not trying to... speed things up. It's just it's a long shadow jump and you will be tired. You need a day."

Both relief and disappointment washed over me... disappointment? Focus Nico!

"I've been working with Leo and my aunt for something I think you need to do. I'm not going to tell you until we get here because I don't want you to panic before hand. I just really need you to trust me without knowing why."

"Is it going to hurt?"

"Emotionally yes. Physically no."

"Do I have to do it?"

"I think it's something you have to do to move on and heal yourself. But yes it's going to hurt. It's going to be very very hard for you."

"Well... of you think it can help me get better..."

"Yes I think it will help you get better even though it won't feel like it at the time."

"On a scale of 1-10 ten being the worst how bad is it?"

"It's an 11. You will most likely freak out and possibly try to hurt yourself or me. But it's a closure that you need."

"Than I trust you"

"Ok. I have a picture and an address. I haven't been there but I have good intel that this is the correct place we have to be. You ready?"

"As much as I'll ever be"

I looked at the picture. It was a large maple tree. The address was 23198 Putnam circle Nevada. Wills large hands wrapped around mine. Focusing on the address and the picture I pulled the shadows in on us. Wrapping them around us swirling and cold almost like wet silk. Moving us seamlessly through the darkness to the location. Slowly I unraveled us taking one shadow off of us at a time. We landed under the tree and it was night here too. Almost a three hour difference but still night time. Will looked a bit shaken. I'm guessing he had never shadow traveled before and I guess I didn't think to warn him how it felt. Someone so warm probably felt alien in the coldness of the shadows. I felt almost guilty for putting him through such and an intrusion of his natural light.

"I'm sorry I forgot that you had never done that!"

"No it's fine it's.. kind of awesome. Like a cool rag on a burn. "

His description made me smile.

"Ok so what's this place supposed to be?"

"Follow me"

Taking my hand we walked and I started to feel a tightness in my gut. Ghosts. We were in a grave yard. The tightness wasn't a bad tightness. It's was a good one more like a hug or good pressure. Ghosts I know. Ghosts are safe. Atleast for me. I don't know why Will thought being here would set me off. Doesn't he realize by now that this is my natural element?

Coming to a stop he pointed to a certain headstone. It was glowing on its own. Made of moonstone. A skull beautiful and decorated on the top of the stone covered in moons and arrows. The symbol of Artemis and Hades side by side above the name in a beautiful script.

Here lies

Bianca Ambrosi Di Angelo

Huntress of Artemis

Daughter of Maria and Hades

Daughter, Sister, friend

Sorely loved, sorely missed

I was frozen. I never knew where she was buried. I didn't realize I had fallen to my knees until I felt Wills hand on my shoulder as he knelt beside me. They only word I could get out as my throats was closing up was "How"

"I asked Percy. Then I asked Leo to look up any bodies found around that time that matched her description. Then I prayed to my aunt. I thought I would get a dream or a message of some sort if she replied at all but then she appears infront of me as her young maiden form. We were alone on the beach when I prayed around midnight know she would only show up around the moon. I asked her if she knew where your sister was buried or cremated and she said that her body was cremated but the urn was buried here and that she made the tombstone herself in her honor. She talked about how she died bravely. Said that you deserved to know where she was and that she knows the love of a brother all to well and siblings have the right to visit siblings even if they are male. Apparently that's why Thalia is allowed to visit Jason. She didn't play games just said a few words and gave me a picture and an address so you could bring us here."

Hot tears spilled down my cheeks as he went on.

"It's important Nico. You need to get closure with her death. Having a place to visit is healing for a lot of people. You can say anything to her. Say what you want to say. There is no wrong emotion or answer for this one."

I stayed silent for a long time just crying blindly staring at the headstone. The words "not again not again" started playing on repeat inside my head. I was hot and cold at the same time. Trembling at the sight of her name. My sisters name. Shaking more and more an emotion I didn't see coming hit me like a brick wall and I could barely register the words screaming their way out of my mouth.

"You bitch! Here you are four fucking years later! Four fucking years you have been buried here! I'm so... SO MAD AT YOU! Why Bianca! Why did you leave me! Why! Why couldn't you just stay with me why did you run away from being with me I was your brother! Your only family and you left me! Not once but twice! First you leave me for THEM! Your stupid fucking perfect hunters! I was a boy! I was 10 years old! You found your first way out and you just dropped me like I meant nothing to you! Dad liked you more liked you better and you disgrace his name joining those people and leaving me behind to raise myself! Then you go off and you fucking get yourself killed with them! You didn't give a shit about anything but yourself! Your so fucking SELFISH BiANCA!

Sei una misera per una sorella. Vorrei che tu non fossi mai nato Vorrei essere figlio unico. ti odio! Mi senti io cazzo ti odio ti egoista stupido non buona scusa scusa per un essere umano! Vaffanculo Bianca! Vaffanculo per avermi lasciato! Vaffanculo!"

I was hitting the ground as I yelled. I was just cussing and spitting by the end of it. Throwing chunks of grass and dirt at the slab. My nails were bleeding from clawing the ground and I was dry heaving by the end of my fit. I was enough of myself to turn to Will. Face wet with tears at the sight of my heartbreak. Chest heaving with his sympathetic sobs. I lunged at him grasping him for dear life. Digging my bloody nails into his flesh through his shirt grasping at his hair pulling him tightly to me. I wanted to crawl inside him and hide.

Hysterical sobs wracking my body I was choking on my own fluids leaking out of me. I was worried Will was going to push me away getting snot and spit all over his shirt in his hair on the side of his neck.. he only pulled me closer.

"Let it out baby I have you. You're safe with me I have you. It's not ok and I'm not going to lie and say that it's going to be ok. It's fucking hard. It's hard and it's painful and it's part of you and all I can do is remind you that your safe. You're safe with me!"

"It's to much! It's hurts to much! I can't do this! It's to hard I can't.. I can't.. I'm not.. I'm not strong enough for this!"

"You are strong enough and if for some reason you arnt than I am here to be strong for you when you can't be. You don't have to do everything alone. Right now you are not alone Neeks you have me. I will be your strength when you cant find your own. I'm sorry I put you through this baby I am but you needed to see it. You needed to feel this. You have been numb for so long that these feelings are raw and unmanageable but they are nessesary!"

"I-I- Will" that's when everything went black.

I began to feel myself wake. I was in a bed. A television was playing on the background and I could hear someone slurping something. Where was I? What's going.. and then it hits me like a Mac truck. Everything that had transpired. Like for a moment everything was normal and fine and then the memory raw and undiluted filled my body once again. Fresh hot tears spill as o begin to whimper afraid to open my eyes. Warm strong hands wrapped around me cooing into my ear. Quiet reassurances of my safety. Acknowledgment of my pain and reassurance of him not going anywhere.

Opening my eyes I could see we were in a cheap hotel room in a large bed. My sobs began to choke down. I could feel something hot on my back and I pulled away slightly. Wills hands were glowing. Reaching for me he took both my hands in his concentrating.

"W-what are y-your hands d-doing."

"I'm physically bringing your heart rate and your blood pressure down. Trying to calm you down physically. "

"Where are we?" I could feel what he was doing was working. The pain was there but it was easier to talk and easier to take on everything around me.

"I think it's a days inn. They only had a kind size bed. I'll sleep ok the floor I just wanted to sit next to you til you woke up. You fainted from exhaustion. I had to bring you somewhere you needed rest. If you want to go back we can in the morning."

"No Will don't sleep on the floor. Just.. just stay next to me."

"Ok babe I'm right here I'm not going anywhere"

Leaning in I kissed him. I don't know why I kissed him I just needed to feel his affection. The kiss became heated and deep. Both of us rolling around in the sheets panting and bruising our lips against eachother. I was under Will pulling his hair when sobs began to escape my lips between kisses. Is was crying. I'm supposed to be kissing my boyfriend (is he my boyfriend?) and I'm crying like a child.

Why can't I just be normal! Why can't I take advantage of the fact that me and this hot guy like eachother and are alone in a hotel room! I could be losing my virginity! I could be making wonderful wonderful mistakes but no. I'm to broken for that.

"Nico shhhhhh it's ok baby it's ok"

"No it's not look at me! I just ruined every.."

"You ruined nothing!"

"I'm kissing you in a bed and.. and I just start weeping like stupid baby!"

"That's because it's a very emotional time right now. It's actually normal Nico. I expected something like this."

"You expect me to be broken" I said in an excusing tone.

"No! I expect you to react!"

"How could you want to be with someone like me? You need someone whole."

"Nico no one is whole. Everyone has a hole inside. Some peoples are bigger than others. Truth is people usually try to fill that hole with something instead of focusing on making it smaller. That why we are here Nico. I'm trying to make your hole smaller so it takes less to fill it."

"I'm so sorry Will. You probably thought we would.. that.. and I.. I just ruined"

"I didn't think that. Though I did think you might try to."

"You thought I would try to sleep with you?"

"Yeah. Most people go for sex when something bad happens just so hey can feel something else. I wouldn't have let you do it though. Kissing to make you feel better and a hot make out session is all your getting out of me. I'm a classy broad and if you want to get me in he sack I expect flowers and candy and maybe even a promise ring. My ring size is ten."

I start laughing through my tears

"You are such a fucking dork!"

"Says the crying seductress beneath me"

"Oh fuck you!" I playfully slap at his chest.

"I adore you.. you know that's right?"

"Sometimes I do. Other times I don't. I can't trust my mind all the time. It's untrustworthy."

"Well I do. And when we do decide to take that step let's make sure you are not crying. I'm not saying we will plan it but I am saying it's not going to be because you are sad and trying to forget being sad."

"Yeah we should probably be like official or some shit like that."

"Arnt we?"

" I don't know.. I've never done this before. Wait have you been telling people I'm your boyfriend!"

"Yeah of course I have! We spend almost every day together and we kiss and hold hands and go places and do couple type things.. wait so you don't think we are dating!"

" I didn't know! When I was younger you made like an announcement or gave someone a pin stuff like that I thought we were just.. courting?"

"Did you just say courting!"

"Oh my gods shut up!"

Will is laughing at me. Well.. with me.

"I'm sorry I just I forget when you came from sometimes. I didn't even think of that. Well I guess I should ask you officially then right?"

"If you want to keep telling people I'm your boyfriend then yes you should ask me" I say smiling.

"Niccolo Vincenzo Giuseppe Di Angelo will you be my boyfriend?"

"That is so not my middle name!"

"Doesn't matter. Answer the question."

"Yes."

"Good" he kissed me chastely.

"So what's your middle name?"

"Mine? Oh my name is William Sebastian Solace"

"Strong I like it."

"What's yours"

"John"

"Your name is Niccolo John Di Angelo?"

"Yeah um.. my mamma that's what she called my dad. I guess that was the name he used when they first met. "

"I feel like that's to simple for you"

"I'm more simple than you think. I like little things"

"See.. the more I get to know you the more adorable you are"

"Shut up"

"Ok"

Another long languid kiss.

We fell asleep curled around eachother.

And I've never wanted to be touched more in my life.


	4. Tartarus incarnate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicos nightmares bring him back to the time he went through Tartarus and the evil things he had to endure. Will brings him out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings of 
> 
> Rape
> 
> Hate language
> 
> Violence

Tartaurus Incarnate

Nicos POV

I could feel the pull of the God on all sides of me. I tried to shadow myself out of there but my powers were not working. Like the inevitability of throwing up after swallowing ipecac I was being pulled deeper into the depths of Tartarus.

The blackness of my surroundings was unnerving even for me who thrived in darkness. The air was stale and neither cold or hot. Dim blue light started to come around illuminating my surroundings and it looked like the beaches of the river Styx. Poplar trees and white sand that was so fine it was like walking on powered sugar. A small building stood infront of me and my powers still didn't work.

Walking in the building I saw Bianca. Sitting in a chair looking at me with disgust. Our mother was sitting next to her. Both looked at me with utter bitterness in their faces. Standing they began to circle me. Making me feel like a meal about to be devoured by lions. I was stuck in place my feet glued to the floor. As they circled they took turns speaking... yelling... degrading. My voice wouldn't work. Nothing would come out.

You're a filthy little pervert

We never loved you

You're the reason we are dead

We would have been better off without you

They should lock you away

Crazy little disgusting faggot

No one could ever love you

That boy wasn't sorry about me dying he lied to you

Your father left us because of you. If it was just Bianca he would have stayed

Why don't you just mutilate yourself some more

Why haven't you just ended it already

It would be better for everyone

Hades never loved you

He only puts up with you

He's ashamed of you

We all are

That son of Poseidon could never love you

He hates you

They all hate you

You honk that other girl thinks of you as a brother

You were a meal ticket

A way out of Asphodel

You're pathetic

The voices echoed out of their mouths getting louder and venom laced. I tried to cover my ears and close my eyes but the more I try the louder they get. I tried to control my breathing and my tears. It wasn't working. They continued insults and spat at me. They started pushing me and hitting me and I was defenseless against them. Not only because I was unarmed but because I would never hurt my mother or my sister.

It seemed like hours went by. Exhaustion racked my body when a realization crashed over me. My mother doesn't speak English? She doesn't know how? She never did?

The room swirled around and I was in the dark again. It wasn't real! None of this is real. It feels real though. Where am I? I thought I fell into tartarus but I thought I would find fire and brimstone and monsters and danger. This wasn't that. This was worse. I was so tired and hungry. I needed water. I found myself in the sugar sand again. No buildings this time. I started walking through the the trees looking for any kind of relief. I found an apple tree in the row of poplars. Climbing up the tree I sat on a branch collecting apples and shoving them on my pockets of my aviator jacket. Taking one I bit into it. Pain shot through my mouth.

What I thought was juice from the apple was actually blood. I tried to swallow but half way I spit the apple out only to find shards of broken glass. Wiping my mouth the back of my hands stained with red. A rope showed up out of no where tied in a noose. A way out.

I can't I have to keep going I have to get to the doors!

A building appeared. Walking toward it I knew I had to go through to get out of here. Repeating out loud to myself that it's not real it's all in my head it's not real it's all in my head.

Darkness enveloped him once more. Soon a blinding white light illuminated my surroundings. It was a hospital? Men were coming at me in white uniforms. A straight jacket opened to trap me in. I ran down the hallway but it was useless. It was like running through water. They were catching up to me. Two grabbed my arms and started ripping my clothes off. Putting me in a hospital gown they pulled the jacket around me.

Throwing me in a padded room I screamed for help. For anyone. They opened the door and sprayed me with a fire hose.

"This is what happens to abominations like you." The first man yelled over the spray of the water.

"Maybe this will wash the faggot off you" the other laughed.

The vile men finally left. I was cold and wet on the ground calling for my father for anyone. I was trapped in this one. I couldn't get out. Sometime in the middle of the night I heard footsteps. The door opened blinding me with the harsh light as three men entered. Orderlies.

"Well guy you know what this one is here for. Let's see how much he likes it"

Hours.. or days... or weeks. They hurt me. They violated me. Passed me between them. I lost my voice screaming and crying. Why won't anyone help me. Save me from these demons. These.. monsters.

I would rather take on a hundred children of echnida then have them come back for me and put me through that again. I wanted to shower I wanted to rip my skin off. I wanted to bathe in bleach.

The door opened again and I coward against the wall. I was covered in sweat and blood from the looks of it when I looked down at myself. This one looked like a doctor.. a psychiatrist.

"Well young man looks like we need to get you better. Drive that devil out of your body. Make you normal."

"I am normal"

"No your a homosexual. We can fix that. Just a few shock treatments and some meds and I'm sure you will be looking at girls on no time."

"Please no! No more! I don't want to get electric shocks please I'll forget everything! I've already forgot part of my life please don't take away the rest!"

He took me by the collar and dragged me toward the shock room. I could feel it. Feel the electricity coming off the walls.

Where was Will! Why can't he save me! He's a doctor he could.. wait... Will... I know Will.. I'm dating Will... I didn't know Will when I went to tar.. Im Dreaming! I need to wake up! Clovis! I need to call Clovis!

Wills POV

I heard a commotion from my bunk. Someone was at the door pounding. It was nearly 2 am who was knocking at the door! Kayla rushed over to me.

"Will Clovis is at the door. He needs you I think it's an emergency."

"Ok give me a sec to put some pants on."

Grabbing my fuzzy ninja turtle pants and a black tank top I padded my way to the door of the Apollo cabin.

"Clovis what do you want its 2am! Why haven't the Harpies eaten you?"

"I put three to sleep. I wouldn't let Chiron know I can do that. Listen I heard Nico calling for me in a dream. He's stuck in that place again."

"What place"

"Tartarus!"

"What!"

I grabbed Clovis and dragged him with me toward cabin 13.

"Tell me everything!"

"Well Nicos nightmares are not nightmares as much as they are memories of what happened to him down there. Right now he's trying to come out of it. He finally realized he's dreaming so he called me."

"Why didn't you go straight to his cabin and wake him up!"

"Because Will he might need a doctor when he wakes up."

"Why?"

"Because when I left him he was trying to cut off the straight jacket"

"Straight jacket!"

"Dude what he went through down there was fucking brutal!"

"How brutal?"

"Like insane asylum... rape..Mom and sister tearing his soul to shreds with grotesque words of shame and degradation?"

"Please tell me you are exaggerating!"

"I can't!"

"Fuck! Fuck! Gods damn it! Clovis go to Chiron and tell him I'm staying in the Hades cabin for a while. Tell him what you saw. I've got to get to Nico before he really hurts himself!"

"Ok" Clovis ran off toward the big house.

I ran up the steps of cabin thirteen and I could hear the screams from outside he doors. I kicked the door in and ran toward the bed. Nico was practically naked from trying to tear his clothes off. I can only assume he thinks it's the straight jacket. Blood was all over him from the scratches he made in his skin trying to fight things off in the dreams. I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder. Running to the bathroom I wrenched open the shower stall and turned on the cold water and carried him inside.

The ice cold water hit him as I shook him awake.

"WHHHAA...!"

"Nico it's me it's Will! You were in a nightmare! I got you!"

"Wi..wi..Will!" He screamed and realized it was me infront of him.

Looking around taking in his surroundings he clutched on to me for dear life. Starting to hyperventilate I held him up with one arm and started turning the shower off with the other.

Holding him from behind tightly so that he couldn't hurt himself or me I calmly spoke on his ear.

"Nico I need you to tell me 5 things you see

4 things you hear

3 things you feel

2 things you smell

And 1 thing you taste."

Breathing erratically he choked out his answers.

"Uh...ugh.. I see...

The water on the shower walls

The vanity

The mirror

Our reflection in the mirror

My skull rug infront of the sink."

"Ok nico good so good now 4 things you hear!"

"Umm... I... ..I hear

Your breathing

My screen door swaying

The water dripping from the shower head

The hum of he light in he bathroom

"Great your doing great! Now three things you feel!"

"I feel... I feel...

Cold

I feel your arms around me

And wet... I'm wet."

"Baby that's wonderful now two things you smell"

"I smell your shampoo and sunlight.. you smell like sunlight."

"Ok now baby what do you taste."

"Blood I taste blood."

This breathing calmed and I his body was shaking far less than before. I released him.

"Come on let's get you some dry clothes and clean you up."

Nicos POV

Will was here! Thank the gods Will was here. My hero pulled me out of that hell! I knew he would save me. I called for him and he came. The very thought of knowing Will was out there and knowing that he was mine was the thought I needed to ground myself on that nightmare. I didn't know Will when I went through that awful place. If I just hold on to Will he can be the anchor I need to realize what's a dream and what's real.

Will took me out of the shower and calmed me down. Taking off my wet clothes he cleaned my scratches and healed them. Put me in dry clothes

Giving me loving reassurances that I was ok and I was safe.. the best part was I was starting to believe him. I didn't shy away from Wills touch anymore. Heat radiated off of him like a warm summer day. His touch didn't hurt. Not like everyone else's. Wills touch was so much more. Clean..innocent..pure.

It's like his touch erases..."theirs"

"So do you want to talk about it baby?"

"Not yet. Not tonight."

"Ok hun. How about we get you one of those blue pills and snuggle up on bed and watch some tv?"

"Wow that sounds like we are a 90 year old couple" I laughed.

"Well if we combine our ages isn't that what we are?"

I flicked his forehead.

"Ow! That wasn't nice!"

"Never said I was nice"

"That's true. Well I'm staying with you tonight ok?"

"Thank you. Do you think we will get in trouble?"

"Nah. I sent Chiron a message through Clovis since he's the one who found me and told me to come."

"Clovis heard me?"

"Yeah he told me what was happening"

"Did he tell you everything?"

Will didn't speak for a moment. He gave me a pill and a glass of water. Led me to my bed and got under the covers with me ( he was in his boxers since his clothes were wet. I'm trying not to blush)

I curled into his body wrapping our legs together feeling his arm over my waist. I could feel his breath on my face warm and even.

"He told me. Not ok detail but he told me. I hope that's ok"

"I guess it has to be. Are you..are you... um...I don't know the right words.. grossed out.. turned off.. by what happened to me down there?"

"I'm disgusted that you had to go through it but if your worried I don't want to.. that.. one day because of what happened to you down there the answer is no. I still think you are beautiful."

Warmth and weird feelings fluttered inside me. I don't know if I love him yet. I'm On my way though.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"Every day"

Ok I might know


	5. Wills mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out why Will is a year round camper. Opening up to Nico we find out that Wills mom had a lot of problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has mentions of abusive parents. Also alcoholism and drug use.

Today was slow. It was raining outside and your could hear he droplets loud and constant on the roof of my cabin. Most of the campers have left for the school year and Will and I were left behind with a handful of year rounders. Will was laying on his stomach in my bed searching through Netflix trying to find something mind numbing for us to watch. I was sitting in his back playing with his hair. It was getting long and touched the bottom of his neck now. I kept fingering the golden ringlets stretching them straight trying to figure out how long his hair would be if he straightened it. My guess was right in the middle of his shoulder blades.

The more I played with his hair and realized how quiet camp was something started bugging me. Why was Will a year rounder? Why hadn't he gone back with his mom? Now that I think about it Will never told me anything about his family. Will was so kind and gentle. How could he possibly have no one to go back to during the school year?

"Hey Will?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Why don't you ever talk about your family?"

I could feel him stiffen and stop breathing under me. Shuffling off of his back he sat up turning towards me. Eyes the size of dinner plates I realized his skin had gone pale (well as pale as that tan Adonis could go) his freckles stood out extra dark against his skin. Crossing his legs he motioned for me to do the same and took both my hands in his. I could tell a big talk was coming.

"I honestly don't know where my mom is Nico"

"Will you don't have to.."

Cutting me off he put a finger to my lips quieting me.

"No it's only fair you know my story since I know so much of yours. Plus you are my boyfriend and I think we have been together long enough that I trust you with my story. Just promise me that you won't look at me with puppy eyes every time family is mentioned around me."

"Will you don't do that with me so I promise I won't do that with you"

Nodding he started fidgeting rubbing circles with his thumbs in my hands like he was warming up for a struggle that he hadn't faced in a long time. It made me wonder how long it had been since he told his story. Part of me wondered if he had ever told it in the first place.

"My mother was in her teens when she had me. She was a country singer in Texas and after I was born she kind of gave up on her dream a bit. My mom didn't really have that "mother" instinct that other mothers seem to just naturally have. I ended up having to take care of myself most of the time. By the time I was 8 I realized she had a bad drug problem and she was getting high every weekend when she would play gigs at bars. Soon it was every day and I would find her stash hidden all over our small apartment. I loved my mother Nico I still do very much and it took me a long time to get on the road to forgiveness for her.

I'm still not there yet. I wish I was. When I was 11 I found her on the bathroom floor overdosed. She wasn't breathing and her lips were blue. That's when I realized I was a healer. I put everything I had into my mom that night and a lot like you I zapped my power and passed out for a day or two. This happened a lot. She seem to take it as a free pass to take as many drugs as she wanted because her little healer boy would just bring her back. One thing I tried to do was cure her addiction but I found out with much disappointment that I couldn't. Another thing I knew about my mother is that we were from Texas and they don't exactly look kindly on people who are LBGTQ friendly. My mom never outright said it but any time I would do something that wasn't the "straightest" in her words she would try to correct it.

One time she caught me with a magazine I found at a friends house and well.. she beat the hell out me. Telling me it was wrong and that I needed to just forget thinking that way. So one thing I tried to do after that was cure myself. Every morning i would look in the mirror and try to cure my feelings and it never worked. Finally I found her in her room not breathing again but she was to far gone and I had to call 911. I hid in the park until they took her away because she told me that if cops ever came to the house they would take me away.

So after they left I waited back in the apartment for days. I was worried that she died so I called the hospital to see if she was ok and they told me they had discharged her two days after she came in. She never came back. I was alone and I didn't know what I was going to do. I thought she left because of me. I still think she left because of me. That she was tired of taking care of me. That she was ashamed to have a sinful son. I sat and cried in the apartment for a long time crying for my dad. I never met him and I never knew he was Apollo. I was just crying for him because I didn't know what else to say while crying.

A knock at the door scared me. I figured it was the cops coming to take me away. I was almost certain of it and at that point I was ready to go with them. A man that looked a lot like me stood infront of me with blonde hair a tan and a blinding white smile. Bending down he told me he was my dad and to go pack a bag he was going to take me somewhere. I got my stuff together and he led me to the sun chariot. On the way to camp he explained who he was and why I could heal. Told me that because I was half mortal I couldn't stay with him but he would take me to a place with kids just like me including kids that were my other siblings.

I didn't feel rejected by him. I actually felt embraced by him. Apollo told me that I wasn't sick and that he was bisexual just like me and it was ok and that my mother was wrong. He told me that my mother wasn't my fault and he was sorry that she turned out the way she did. I found out that my dad was the one who always paid our rent and he actually would send me birthday gifts. My mom would pawn them for drugs. My dad could only love me from afar but atleast I know he loves me. Apollo also promised me that he would pay for my college when I get out of camp. Apparently he does it for all of us. He paves the way for dreams for his kids.

He can be selfish and conceited and really annoying but he loves us. We know that. Probably better than some of the other kids here at camp. It's one thing I knew we had in common. Both our godly parents are a bit more involved than others. So that's my story Neeks. I don't know where my mom is. That's why I'm a year rounder."

Silent tears fell from his face the entire story. My eyes were also wet from the story. Taking in his words my heart hurt for him. Wills story was different from mine yet had about the same amount of sadness. The only thing that kept the puppy eyes away was his love for his dad and the happy ending of living here at camp around people who love him. I took my hands out of his and got to my knees leaning into him. I kissed his eyes. I kissed his cheeks. I kissed his lips. Grabbing the sides of his head tangling my thin fingers in the spun gold of his hair working my lips lovingly against his. Gripping my hips as I kissed him I could feel his hold growing tighter digging into my flesh. Tears started to grow stronger as I felt his body shake with emotion and his breath hitch in my mouth. I pressed my forehead against his as he sobbed.

I could tell it had been a long time since he had let himself really think about this.

"I-I-I couldn't make h-her l-love me"

"Sweetie she did love you. It's just... our parents do the best they can and sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes their best just isn't enough."

"She could be d-dead for all I k-know"

"I could check for you?"

A dark laugh escaped his lips.

"Wow that's... that's kind of strange"

"Good strange or bad strange?"

"Good strange"

"Good"

"Nico... can I.. I want to... I...I..."

"I love you too Will"

A deep breath escaped him like he had been holding it for years. Pushing me back onto the bed he hovered over me. I could feel his salty tears hit my face as I licked them off my lips. Kissing me deep and slow and languid. Pouring love and and emotion into every movement of his lips. Every swipe of his tongue against mine telling a story of how he feels about me. Showing me that this was more than words. Showing his love with actions and movements. Adrenaline and pheromones creating electricity in the air drowning out all sound of the rain outside. Blood roared in my ears and my heart was racing a million miles an hour.

We had never kissed like this. The heat and passion entwining us together rolling around in my bed gripping eachother for dear life trying not to float away. Not an inch of space between our bodies. If we didn't slow down soon we weren't going to. We were going to go to far. I couldn't break from him though. I didn't want to. I wanted this connection. I wanted his touch in anyway I could get it. If I was honest with myself I would have done anything he asked of me at that moment. Nothing was to much for this this moment. Luckily he was he one to pump the breaks.

"Nico we can't"

"I know" I whispered breathlessly into his mouth. We were breathing the same air staring into eachothers eyes. Wills were dilated and dark just a thin blue ring.

We kissed again getting wrapped up in eachother. This happened more than a few times. We would get lost in eachother kissing so deep it was like we were trying to suck the other ones soul out. Then we would pull back panting trying to stop. Then back on eachothers mouths messing up our hair and pulling at shirts. Lips bruised and swollen. Then...

"WAAAAHHHHHHH" went the dinner bell in the pavilion.

Breaking away we started to laugh. First it came out in giggles and turned into straight up hysterics. When we finally caught our breaths he gave me a few light pecks and chaste kisses.

"I love you Nico"

"I love you Will"

"Ready for dinner?"

"Yes all the sudden I'm very hungry and very very thirsty"

"Yeah it's like you sucked all my spit out of me"

"Ugh that's a way to kill the mood"

"Yeah well you might want to check yourself in the mirror."

"What why?"

"Your.. hair?"

"What's wrong with my.." I ran to the bathroom looking at myself. Oh GODS! I look like he had just fucked me in a dumpster! We didn't even take our clothes off! We just kissed! How could I look so disheveled just making out on a bed! I combed out my raven halo of a rats nest and pulled my shirt off to change for dinner and I had bruises where his fingers had been. I wanted to call him in to show him... but than he would heal them.. I didn't want that. I wanted to see them. Carry them around with me a bit. I wanted to see where he had been for the next few days.

After we cleaned up we took eachothers hands smiling like idiots walking in the rain toward the pavilion. After that makeout session... Will and I better have a talk.. a sex talk. Just incase we get to carried away. I'm not ready yet I don't think. But after that.. I'm getting closer.


	6. The business of fading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico wants to help Will find out if his mother is still alive. While doing so he gets into yet another fight with Persephone and ends up over doing his powers... again.

The business of fading

After Will told me about his mom all I could think about was mine. Maria Di Angelo was nothing if not a lady. I lay in my bed trying to remember her. Just staring at the ceiling trying to remember every thing I can to keep her with me. Inky black hair that fell to her waist that smelled like lavender with a hint of clove. Most of the time she kept it in a bun unless my father was around. Now that I think about it my dad was around a lot growing up. For the longest time I always thought he was on business trips but I always knew he would show up soon enough.

Most demi gods never even met their godly parent. Where I saw my father on a monthly basis yo until my mother died. The memories started coming back to me as the effects of the Lethe wore off in Tartarus. My mothers eyes were a cinnamon brown that really set off her Olive toned skin. I looked like her. Except the eyes. I had my dad's eyes. I remember her singing all the time. Opera. I would play with her vanity when she was out at night. We lived with my grandparents in the country and she would go into the city at night. Now that I think about t maybe she was a performer?

I would sit on her black satin stool looking at all of the implements. Everything lined up and perfect. The vanity was poplar wood with ornate carvings of gothic architecture designs. Pomegranates were at each corner of the mirror. All her make up dark beautiful reds and oranges with a few browns. I loved rubbing the brushes on my face they were so soft. Perfumes of all kinds in beautiful glass bottles with a spritz pump on each.

Bianca used to dress me up and put makeup on me. My mother would laugh and watch us on the bed. My father draped around her openly affectionate. We were so happy. With the good comes the bad. I can remember the smell of the burning building when Zeus blew it to smithereens. A cloudy smoke like dome covering me and my sister deflecting the fire and debris flying everywhere. My mothers lifeless body burned and bloody laying limp in my fathers arms. Only having time to save us.

Persephone was trying to buy herself back into my good graces. Every morning a basket of fruit and flowers would be somewhere in my cabin. Making it clear she was sorry about my mother. I didn't care though. She can't build her stairway to heaven with me. The goddess obliterated my mother. Never to be seen again. Never reborn not even allowed to be judged. Just gone. I started thinking about Wills mom again. I need to check if she's alive.

Going in the back of my closet I felt for the trap door that only I knew about. I heard Will behind me looking for me in my room.

"Will I'm in here. I want to show you something."

Heavy steps followed me into the closet and strong hands found my waist. I could feel his lips on the back of my head.

"Why are we in the closet? I thought we were out?"

"You're hilarious." I deadpanned.

"But seriously why are we in here?"

"We are going into my ritual room. I've never showed anyone his room. Not even Hazel."

Trailing my hands on the wall I found he 7 obsidian buttons shaped like stars. I pushed the second one in.

"Second star to the right. Straight on til morning."

"You know Peter Pan?"

"Will Peter Pan was written in 1904. Yes I know Peter Pan."

The door slid open leading to a spiral staircase. As we went down the green torches lit up as we descended.

"What do the other buttons do?"

"Things"

"Are you going to tell me?"

"No"

"Why?"

"Reasons"

"Fair enough. Eventually?"

"Eventually"

Satisfied we finally found the ritual room that was under my cabin. An alter stood in the middle of it with tapestries of different scenes of the underworld strewn along the walls. Walking to the middle of the room to stand before the alter I motioned Will to stand across from me on the other side. Lighting the candles and a small green fire in the middle with the wave of my hand I started sprinkling herbs into the fire saying a string of old incarnations I learned from Minos. Reaching in my pocket I pulled out a chocolate bar and a few drachmas to sacrifice in the green flames.

I whispered one name into the cauldron and it echoed off the walls "Naomi Solace"

Wills eyes turned glassy as his body stiffened realizing what we were doing. Smoke rose twirling around in an ethereal pattern. An image of a beautiful woman with dark brown hair and big eyes appeared and by the choking sound of Will on the other side I could tell it was his mother. She was dead. She was in the underworld. Chanting into the smoke it turned colors. From grey to white. I released a breath. The image faded and the candles and green fire went out.

I gave Will a few moments to compose himself.

"Why did the smoke change? What were you chanting?" He asked in a thick voice.

"I was checking where she was. Whatever happened in the past she did something to make it to Elysium."

A shuttering breath escaped him. Shoulders relaxing as silent tears fell.

"I-I have to go" he said and he walked over to me and kissed my forehead. I could feel his tears on his lips. "Thank you Nico" and he left.

I didn't follow him. It's understandable that he would want to be alone right now. Heavy news just filled his ears and he needed time to digest it. Naomi may be dead but she made it into paradise for some reason or another. Cleaning the alter I started anointing one of my ritual Stygian daggers with oils I noticed a movement in the corner. I could smell flowers.

"Stay there. Say what you need to say and fucking leave"

Persephone was in he corner.

"Niccolo"

"Just spit it out"

"Do you want to know what she did to gain her way into paradise?"

"Not really. If you insist I know please send my father next time"

"Niccolo please tell me what I can do!"

"Nothing! How would you like it if I decided to take away someone you love?"

I moved toward her still holding my Stygian dagger.

"How would you like it if I went after Melinoe? Gods know she dabbles in my life enough I owe her a few things to return the favor!"

I held the dagger to her chin to let her know how serious I was. I couldn't kill her but I could cut her pretty little face up. Especially with Stygian iron.

"I don't think going after your sister would be wise."

"She's not my sister. Bianca was my sister. Hazel is my sister. From what I can remember Melinoe isn't Hades child yet she's the goddess of nightmares and madness. Two things I'm very familiar with."

"She doesn't deserve your wrath!"

"Doesn't she? Don't you?"

"I do yes but leave Melinoe out of this!"

"Just you wait!"

"Threatening me isn't going to help you!"

"I don't need any help! I need you to leave me alone! You will not get my forgiveness so stop! You take my mother! You have treated me with nothing but contempt! You turned me into a fucking dandelion!"

"Yes I know but I'm trying..."

"You are failing!"

I could feel my pain bubbling. The room flashed green dropping the temperature. Frost formed on the walls. My body started to tremble as floods and waves of pain came off my body in almost physical form. Persephone looked at me with wide eyes. Her form started to wither. The glow around her goddess form began to dim. Black and grey smoke started coming off her form in light tendrils. I couldn't control it. It was Bryce all over again. The pain she felt off of me was astounding. Her eyes crinkled like she was finally beginning to understand what she had put me though.

I could feel my body pulsing out more and more dark energy. Still holding the dagger to her chin I slid it down her cheek leaving a small cut which golden ichor began to drip. My fingers around the hilt started to become transparent and the dagger dropped to the floor making a resounding clang in the frosted room.

"Niccolo please! Don't! Don't destroy yourself trying to destroy me! It will only kill you! I don't want that please!"

"Why shouldn't I fade! If it means bringing you down with me I'll be happy to!"

"But you won't bring me down with you. You will hurt me yes but you won't last long enough to finish! I'll recover and you will fade away like you never existed!"

"Good! I can only imagine what my father will say once he finds out you are the reason I faded! He won't touch you after you killed my mother. Think of what he will do if you kill his last son! His only son! "

"Don't! I beg you!" She fell to her knees. I was fading and I had a goddess begging me on her hands and knees.

Tendrils of black shadows began to swirl behind her. The face of my father started to appear in his black soul covered robes. Black eyes that matched mine faced me. Looking down at his wife he kicked her to the side as he came towards me. With a wave of his hands everything stopped. The frost began to warm and the light came back to the room. Cutting off my power momentarily I felt myself fall but no pain came. I was barely visible. A faint impression of form. Almost a ghost.

"Nico! No!" Coming to my side he held my hand.

"How?"

"I'm a god touching a faded person is possible for me. Nico why!? Why did you do this to yourself?! Why do you keep trying to destroy yourself!"

"I was trying to destroy her." I whispered.

"Son. She's a goddess you never would have been able to sustain that kind of power long enough."

"I know. I had to try. She killed mom"

"I know. She's being punished for that. But that's my job son. That's not your burden to bare it's mine. Nico your my only boy please don't fade on me! I'm trying I'm really trying I know it's not enough but.. son I love you please don't hurt yourself anymore. You deserve happiness. You have earned it more than anyone I have ever known and the fact that you are my son makes me proud that you have earned your happiness."

"I'm not happy"

"But you are on your way to it. What about the Apollo boy? He loves you doesn't he?"

"Yeah he does." My voice cracked even though it was barely a whisper.

"Then you need to let him make you happy. Don't push him away by destroying yourself." Looking over at his wife who was now curled in a ball in the corner looking wretched his dark eyes came back to me. "Stop trying to do everything yourself. I'll take care of your step mother for you. I will deal with her in my own way."

"I'm sorry papa."

Hades eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

"I know Nico. I got to you before you went to far. The Apollo boy won't be able to heal you. You are going to have to heal at your own pace from this. I love you Nico"

"I love you too papa"

It a swirl of smoke him and his wife vanished.

I laid on he floor of the ritual room for two days. Not sleeping mainly because I wasn't solid enough to. I just stayed there relishing the numb non feeling of being faded. Will finally found me. I worried him sick not being able to find me. It didn't even occur to him that I would still be in the ritual room. Laying next to me I could see the worry on his face. This was something he couldn't heal. Something he couldn't fix. And so soon after finding out about his mother. I did this to him. I'm a shitty boyfriend. I tried to lament my sorrow to him. Apologize for doing this to him once again. He wouldn't even entertain the apology. It's funny how he understood my reasons almost better than I did. The only thing he hates was how helpless he felt. I wanted to touch him. Give him physical reassurance that I was going to be ok. My fingers would just pass through. Will shivered everytime I attempted to touch him.

3 more days. Will would stay next to me only leaving for bathroom breaks and food. Setting up a sleeping bag he decided he wasn't leaving until he could feel a pulse. I moved as little as possible trying to gather my strength. I finally was able to sit up even though I was still transparent. I leaned against the wall or I appeared to lean against the wall. Will went out to get dinner from the pavilion when a shimmer of sparks purple and black started to ignite next to me. Staring at the space a form became clearer.

She was slender and lithe. Eyes large and purple with half of her body a stark blinding white the other half black as my sword. The line separating the two flowed down the middle of her body in a beautiful flow of ornate filigree. Hair braided and intricate bright silver almost lilac in color.

Melinoe.

"Brother"

"Melly"

"You know I'll take that. I've never had a nick name."

"Why are you here. Did your mom send you?"

"No but Hades did he wanted a report on how you are doing and he wanted to see if I could help"

"Melly I was just trying to piss your mom off I wasn't going to come after you. Not that it would do anything. I was just talking shit"

"Oh I know. I've seen your nightmares brother I know you better than you think"

"You know if you really think of me as a brother could you cut that shit out?"

"I don't give the nightmares brother I merely control their domain. As for the madness that wasn't me that was you. Plus your getting better with that anyway that ball of sunshine your screwing seems to help"

"I'm not screwing anyone!"

"Really? Cause I've seen him you should like.. lock that down"

"I'm not having this conversation with you"

"You are rather prude for a Greek"

"Yeah well... I was raised catholic"

"Yeah that's hilarious actually "

"Well what can you do. So can you help? Solidify me?"

"Yeah I can. Not much but enough that your sunshine boy can help you more."

"Why didn't you come earlier?"

"Honestly Hades only spoke to me about t today. He's been busy with mom. I think he's sending her away for a while"

"Back to Demeter?"

"Nah I think he's going to have Orcus deal with her a bit. She deserved it"

"Yes she did"

Kissing my cheek I could feel my body become solid. The pain was back. The weakness and the human issues were weighing on me once again. Man being almost dead is so much worse that being dead I swear.

"I'll do my best to see about giving you some better sleep ok? Maybe help your boyfriend with one of his special demigod pharmacy business he's got going. Something that will just let you sleep with out it being dreamless but no nightmares. I owe you that"

"You don't owe me anything Melly"

"I know but she does and I can help pay for her sins. She is my mother after all."

"Yeah ... mothers"

"Mothers"

"Guess I'll see you around?"

"Oh I'm sure I'll see you at a family dinner in the future. Goodbye brother"

"Goodbye... sister"

Once again she left in purple and black sparks.

Will came back down the stair case and when he realized I wasn't transparent anymore he rushed over to me carrying me upstairs bridal style. Laying me on the bed he went and found some pills and ambrosia from the kitchen.

"Thank gods deathboy!"

"Yeah for once.. thank gods."


	7. Sunshine and shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy time!!! Will and Nico cross the intimacy line!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content. Please skip if makes you uncomfortable. 
> 
> 100% consensual sex.

So I've been in this bed for a week. Will taking care of me making sure that I take my meds correctly and helping me to the bathroom. Cooking for me three times a day. A large part of me hates this. I feel useless and lethargic. Will waiting on me like he's my servant or some shit. Another part of me loves it though. Will is so thoughtful. His bedside manner is unparalleled. I've never been babied or taken care of the way Will takes care of me. It's kind of addicting. I want to be able to show my appreciation though.

I was sitting on my bed reading a burial rights book for the Persian immortal soldiers when he came in with my dinner. Tonight it was clear onion soup with ginger dressing salad.

"Open up tiger " he tried to hold the spoon to my mouth as I batted him away.

"I've been able to feed myself for the last two days thank you!"

"I know but it's cute"

"You're cute"

He blushed.

Eating in silence I could see the gears turning inside his head. I wish I could break open his mind and see what's going on in there. For someone who is so open I never seem to know what he's thinking but I love the fact that I could ask without hesitation and I know I would be hearing the truth. Will never lied. I liked that. I loved that actually. I found that I never lied to him either. I would omit truth don't get me wrong. I wouldn't include everything I was thinking but I never out right lied to him. I just really don't want him to see all the darkness inside me. I want to be something he wants. Something he deserves. Gods knew I didn't deserve him.

How could this good kid with all his sunshine and optimism like someone like me? Love someone like me? Maybe it wasn't allure as much as morbid curiosity. Things started popping up on my head... questions... dirty questions.

"Will?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Do you ever think about.. you know.. sex?"

The next moment was him spitting his soup all over the front of me. Getting up quickly he headed to the kitchen to get paper towels with a string of apologies following. Wow he is really flustered! I didn't think I could get him all panicky and worked up. Finally when he was settled and cleaned up he sat on the bed cross legged across from me taking my hands in his.

"What do you want to know about sex?"

"Oh um.. that's not what I was getting at I was just wondering if you ever thought about.. you and me.."

"Oh well yeah of course I do" blushing

"Why haven't you ever tried?"

"I guess I just wanted to wait a bit you know? Make sure we did it for the right reasons.. I know it sounds girly but you have been through so much that I didn't want it to look like I was trying to take advantage of you."

"That's ridiculous you know that right?"

"Not really Nico people have sex for all sorts of reasons and pain is one of them. I guess I wanted to make sure ... you wanted me... that you wanted to have sex with me not just have sex to feel something else."

"Did you want to.. try?"

"Well yeah I do but not until you are better. Plus I kinda figured well.. nevermind"

"No what is it?"

"I figured you might want to.. be married first?"

"Why the fuck would you think some stupid shit like that!"

"I don't know I.. you are from the 30s right?"

"Yeah so?"

"Well don't you have to be married to have sex? Are those not the values they taught you back then?"

"Will. I'm a bastard child from a war torn country. In the 30s people were the same as they are now only they just kept their affairs a secret. Plus I was also taught that having sex with men was a sin and I would go to hell or worse if I did that. So thinking about it I would have always have had to hide who I was back then. I never would have been able to come out without being committed or killed. I feel really lucky that I'm here in this time period. I'm really happy that we can go to the bonfire and make out without anyone having an issue with it or hold your hand in public."

"You never hold my hand in public. Nor have we ever made out at the bonfire."

"That's besides the point! It's the principal that I can if I want to!"

"I just figured we would wait is all"

"Well.. what if I don't want to wait"

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Well not today but yeah I think I am"

"Well if you ever want to talk about it I'm willing"

"But you still didn't answer my question!"

"Yes I did I said when you were better"

"Yeah but what's your definition of better? Like when I can start training back up or when my episodes are done with or what?!"

"I would say when you can walk by yourself! If I had to wait until you are air quotes better than it's going to be a long fucking time but yeah when you are up and running again sure we can explore that.."

"So... do you think about me naked?"

"Oh my gods Nico I swear! Yes ok yes I think about it. Hell I've actually seen you..."

"You told me you didn't peek!"

"I did ok I'm a man. A man with needs and you are just so..."

"Pathetic?"

"Sexy!"

"You think I'm sexy?"

"Yeah I do.. like the whole bad boy persona.. the V thing.."

"V things?"

"Yeah I uh have a thing for hips? Like the V on your hips it.. it drives me wild"

"My hips?"

"That and your arms.. chest... abs.. well babe I'm sorry but you are really in shape like really super oh my gods ripped"

"Well.. I train.. a lot"

"I know and it shows"

"Well thanks I guess " I turned my eyes down at him.

"What's your favorite body part on me?" Waggling his eyebrows.. fishing for compliments.

"Ha well your eyes I guess? I love your eyes. You have really nice lips to I can't stop staring at them. Plus I know I complain a lot about how much taller than me you are but I secretly love it. It makes me feel safe even though I'm the fighter between the two of us."

"So you like my face is what you are saying?"

"Well bodies change.. faces don't."

"Guess that makes sense"

"Yeah but that's not why I want to have sex with you"

"Huh?"

"Yeah I want to have sex with you because well.. you make me feel.. whole? I've read so much on it and beside the obvious stuff I just want to experience that feeling of... being one... they wrote that a lot in books and stories I've found. I know it can also be awkward and awful and embarrassing to sometimes but it seems like everyone who wrote about the good things seemed to really love that person. I love you Will. I want to experience that with you."

"Nico you are going to make me cry if you keep talking like that"

"You are a sap!"

"Says the man who wants us "to become one"

"Hey man I know it's super girly but I don't know it's just... after what happened in Tartarus.. to me... I guess I want to know what it feels like.. to do that.. because I want to.. not because someone.. I'm not even sure if it was actually.. I'm not sure if it was all in my mind or if it was actually happening to me physically. Either way it felt real. I could feel the pain. They were not gentle. I was passed around and humiliated. I know it's not supposed to be that way. So I just.. I want to feel what it's supposed to feel like ya know?"

Will had tears in his eyes now. I hadn't really talked about the rape in Tartarus. I could feel my voice get thick by the end of it. Putting our plates aside Will crawled over to me taking me into his arms. Lips pressed against mine. Slow and sweet kissing me pouring his emotions into my mouth like fresh water after a day in the desert. Hair fell forward tickling my face as I slinked my arms around his shoulders.

I could feel my arousal in my pants harden and press against his stomach ( damn he was really so much taller than me!). Beginning to grind into me I could feel his breath quicken as low pants escaped his lips in-between deep sinful kisses. I pulled at his shirt peeling it off his body. Him only protesting that we had to break our kiss long enough to remove it entirely. I was breathless at his movements. Gods I loved him. Every touch was warm and full of pure love. I could feel it in his finger tips and his lips. Like tasting sunshine. How could this beautiful creature want me in this way?

We didn't rush. It was a slow process and I'm glad it was. If it had been to rushed I think it would have scared me. The feeling of his mouth trailing the topography of my body was making me coo and hiss. I didn't think we would be doing this so quick after the talk I though maybe a few weeks or months but I guess my reasoning for wanting to found him on some level. Pushed him to want to give me a memory of what physical love was supposed to me to erase the memory of what Hell had placed there. I don't know if it was my nerves or if my body was just that sensitive but every time he moved to a different area I would tremble at his touch.

Licks and kisses and a few nibbles and we found ourselves without any clothes. Undressing piece by piece discarding all control and leaving something desperate in its wake.

His shirt- I love you

My pj pants- I need you

The sound of his zipper- You are everything to me

My shirt - I see you

His pants - I feel you

My underwear - clarity

His underwear - lust

Nothing between us but a sheen of sweat sliding. Will was a marvel to look at naked. Freckles speckled and splattered on every inch of his golden tanned body (every inch!).

The contrast between our skin tones melting into eachother as I stared at our hands intertwined. Like milk and honey being stirred. Wills nose grazing my jawline breathing in my scent. Everytime he would breath me in his eyes would flutter as if I was this drug he couldn't get enough of. Digging my nails into his taut layer that gave way to every touch and caress. Tasting him was a religious experience. Wills skin was sweet and almost tropical in flavor. Working my mouth over his collarbone his freckles began to glow. Bright sunlight shining through his skin as if the sun itself was if heart.

It reminded me of laying in the fields with my sister letting the sun kiss our olive complexions. It felt like home. Looking slightly embarrassed at his glow his eyes shifted in worry.

"Don't look away from me please."

"I'm sorry I can't control it. When I feel a strong emotion it just happens"

"It's beautiful Will. You're beautiful"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life right now"

Nodding he kissed me taking my breath away again. Fire creeped over my skin as he took his time worshiping every inch of my body. Fingertips wistful and trailing over my sides. This was nothing like Tartarus. Will was gentle and careful with his movements. Prepping me correctly giving me small reassurances. Building me up to the point where I may explode and we hadn't even done it yet. Honestly if he stopped right now the foreplay alone would have been enough.

"You ready nico?"

"Take me. Please" I whimpered shaking under his touch more excited than nervous feeling the lust send torrents of electricity over our bodies. I thought it would be painful. I was waiting for the pain. Expecting it. It never came. Maybe it was the adrenaline or his preparation but either way it was like we were made to be together. Slotting into eachother perfectly without hesitation or concern. If I want grasping his shoulders I was running my hands threw his baby soft curls.

We moved together in sync as if we had done this a million times before. It was amazing how natural it felt. Wave after wave of pleasure ripping through me on the same capacity as the pain I was used to. Him glowing on top of me. Me writhing beneath his strong sure hands and body. I never took my eyes off of him. Watching him unravel on top of me was like watching an outright miracle. My hand cupped his cheek his face leaning in and melting against my touch. Sweet little kisses on my palm. How could anything in this life be better than making love with Will Solace. It could have been minutes or hours or days I couldn't tell you how long we enraptured eachother in our passion. Bliss washed over me as I reached climax only to hear him crying my name following suit.

Laying on top of me still unmoving and uncaring about the stickiness between us all I could hear was our ragged breathing. Touching my nose with his he gave me chaste quick kisses rubbing his face onto mine. Unslotting himself he rolled to my right side pulling me closer to him.

"H-how are you?"

"Will I .. I don't have words"

"Does anything hurt are you sore?"

"No I'm just.. really relaxed.. like I.. I needed that"

"Ha uh well yeah I get the relaxed part"

"Will that was.. that was the best thing I've ever experienced like ever"

"Oh I'm right there with you on that one"

"Is it always like that?"

"I don't know.. it was my first time"

"What?! But I thought... well I guess I didn't know what I thought"

"Yeah I.. I've never done that but.. I really want to do it again."

"Yeah I think a repeat performance is due in the future."

"Nico.. I love you. I love you so so much"

"Si.. si yes ti amo"

Tears were streaming down my face. I've never cried happy tears before but the emotion that was building its way inside me was overwhelming my senses. I loved this man so much and experiencing this with him was almost to much. Almost.

I couldn't have asked for something more perfect than that. I feel sorry for other teens who have a terrible awful first time with their boyfriends. I feel sorry that they don't have a Will Solace to make all their dreams come true. That they don't have someone who radiates love into their partners body the way Will just did to me. Even now he's brushing his thumbs over my tears and shushing me with little sounds of love and comfort.

"You're crying baby are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"No Will I just. I just love you so much. So much it's terrifying. So much that I think it must be all down hill from here because nothing could ever compare to that"

"Now your just lying to me" he chuckled

"Oh no. No lies. Just.. perfection" I chortled back.

He kissed my fingertips pulling me against his body even more. Soon our breathing became even and we fell into a dreamless sleep.


	8. Weekend in the underworld part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Nico go on a vacation to the underworld!! All expenses paid trip to Elysium from hades himself! Hades is so greatful for Will saving his son that he bestows some gifts on our sunshine boy.

Nicos POV

Things has started to really look up for me. I was taking Wills regime of meds and I had the hottest boyfriend in camp. The nightmares were still a problem from time to time but even those were seemingly better. My birthday was coming up and Will was trying to hide something he was planning. It was adorable. Always so care taking in his nature but since we had sex well... let's just say I haven't had to want for anything.

After a short training periods with my zombie friends I walked into my cabin to see a Will Solace sitting on a suitcase and another one next to him. My heart started to race. Where was he going! He can't leave! I began to hyperventilate and the room started to spin around me as I fell. Will rushed over immediately and started his healing thing where he calms me down by lowering my heart rate and blood pressure with his powers.

"Baby what wrong!"

"Suit c-cases you l-leaving m-me!" I shot out in short bursts.

Warm tears ran down my face at his impending departure.

"What! No I'm not leaving! We are going on a trip I thought I would surprise you. You are coming too that's what the other suitcase is I packed it for you!"

"What!? We.. you... me... your.. not leaving"

"No! I've been praying to your dad about what to get you and he answered me with two of Persephones pearls and an envelope to be read when we get there. "

Calming down and wiping my face I saw a black envelope with my fathers script on the front and two blue opalescent pearls that will take us somewhere when stepped on.

"Do we know where we are going?"

"Nope"

"Does Chiron know?"

"Yup we will be gone for the weekend"

He dropped the pearls on the ground and held the bags giving me a wink and he smashed it dissolving in a flash of blue smoke. Taking my bag I stepped onto my own pearl. Traveling with these was somewhat different from shadow travel. It was smoother. Lighter. Less messy.

I arrived on concrete with salt water in the air. Will was next to me looking up at a resort sign. I took the envelope out of his hands and opened it.

William,

Due to you saving my sons life and bringing a new happiness to him I am eternally grateful. I have set up something for you two for the weekend. This is a resort for the Greek world such as demi gods, nymphs, and other ethereal beings. No need to hide here. I am covering everything from meals to room service and tomorrow night I have a couples massage set up for you as well. I went here with Nicos mothers once and she loved it. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he was conceived here. Just sign you name for anything you boys want and tell my boy happy birthday from me. Who knows I may drop by for dinner tomorrow or Sunday. Two pearls will be delivered Monday morning to send you back to camp.

Sincerely

Lord Hades (possible future father in law)

That... was the most thoughtful yet embarrassing note I may have ever read. I really didn't need to know that my father possibly made me here but whatever. Oh and the father in law comment. Talk about blushing to my roots. Walking in hand in hand we checked in and at the front desk as a sea nymph took our bags up to our room. Following him to the elevator I decided I was so happy I was going to stick my tongue down my boyfriends threat the entire elevator ride. Dinging to a stop the doors opened and we found our room to the right. Opening the door we both did a synchronized "whoa!"

The room was huge! California king bed. Beautiful blues and cream color schemes. A balcony that opened up to the ocean. The bell hop nymph was setting our bags down.

"Just dial 7 to get room service or anything extra that you boys need. Your massage will be at 3 pm tomorrow and I believe your father has asked to join you for dinner in the restaurant down stairs tomorrow at 730pm. We have clothes on the closets for you to for that dinner we have a dress code for the formal area. The minibar is stocked and pre paid so go nuts. Anything else you boys need?"

"Um we are to young to drink from the mini bar"

"Says who?"

"The law?"

"Well on earth maybe but no such rules exist here sweetie"

"Where are we exactly?"

"Oh this is the Elysium Resort! We don't usually get people here that are alive but obviously with your father being ruler down here young prince we made an exception. Enjoy your weekend. Oh by the way you have a 2 guests joining you for dinner tonight."

"Who?"

"Lee Fletcher and Michael Yew I believe they are brothers of yours Mr. Solace. They were called upon when his lordship made the reservations. Well if that will be all I'll leave you guys to get comfortable. Dinner will arrive in an 2 hours as well as your guests."

"Thank you miss." I took out a few drachma and handed her a tip. She winked and blushed as she exited the room.

Looking at Will I saw he wasn't breathing. Pushing him toward the bed he sat down speechless.

"I.. I get to see my brothers again.. we are.. Nico we are in the underworld. We are in Elysium!"

"I gathered. How do you feel about seeing Michael and Lee?"

"This may be your birthday gift but I feel like I was just gifted something. Your father Nico did all this for us. My father has barely lifted a finger for any of us and.. your father didn't even blink an eye when I prayed to him just sent the pearls and the envelope by the next morning."

" He is a good dad. We have a strained relationship like most fathers and sons but he actually cares."

"You are so lucky Nico"

"Lately I'm thinking you are right. But your father isn't bad. After all he brought me to you. Brought me to camp. "

"I love you Nico"

I leaned in and kissed my blessing of a boyfriend. Life isn't always perfect but damn if it doesn't feel like it right now. Pulling me to him we fell back onto the bed wrapped in eachother. We had two hours til his brothers got here... might as well make those hours worth it.

When we opened the door Wills brothers tackled him to the ground!

"Bro! Are you dead what are you doing here!"

I stood quietly to the side. As they messed up Wills curls and gave him brotherly punches on the arm. I never had brothers only sisters. Part of me is really relived honestly I feel like if I had a brother all the touching like that would get over whelming.

"Guys guys I'm alive I swear. This ( he walked over to me and grabbed my hand) is my boyfriend Nico Di Angelo son of Hades himself. Hades is giving us a weekend here as his birthday present."

"Dude you are dating him!?" Lee beamed.

"Yup he's the love of my life" I blushed.

"Man that's amazing I never thought you would get over Amber that's awesome!"

Who the fuck is Amber?!

"Yeah well ha.. let's eat shall we?"

Gathering on the balcony where room service brought in an irresponsible amount of food. Talking and joking and eating our way through the night. Will looked radiant conversing with the brothers he lost in the war.

After the meal I gave them a private moment to get emotional. Tears and hugs were exchanged. I miss you's and I love you's passed between siblings. There was a lot of love there. This was a gift for will as much as me. After the boys left us for the night I was in bed scrolling through the Netflix channel. Elysium got great wifi. Will showered and came to bed in just his underpants. Sliding under the covers with me pulled me to him peppering kisses on my face as if I was the one who gave him the experience. One thing was still bothering me...

"Will who is Amber?"

Stilling on my neck he pulled away eyes wide.

"Oh you caught that huh?"

"Oh like the flu! I caught it alright! Spill!"

"Ok Amber was a girl I had a huge crush on when I first came to camp. She was a Hermes girl until she was claimed by Ares. We were the same age but she wasn't into guys who were pacifists. I kind of put her on a pedestal for a while. But the crush faded and then I met you and well.. I fell in love."

My face burned at the end of the comment. He fell in love with me. Me. Gods I loved him.

"Well I don't see you putting me on a pedestal?"

"Oh I would build cities in your name. I would give up my first born! So many things I would do just for you and you alone my love" he stated dramatically while tickling me into a hysterical mess.

Pulling my face to his I felt him slip into my mouth. Tasting sweet like coffee and cinnamon. Smelling like sunlight. Warm beneath my cold hands. This was going to be an amazing vacation. A memory I can hold on to whenever things get dark inside.

Enveloping me in his warmth my eyes fluttered and my heart swelled.

I love Willam Solace.


	9. Weekend with Will part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will gets more gifts!! Nico gets birthday sex!

Weekend with Will part 2

After an amazing couples massage and beach time Will and I were getting ready for dinner with my father. I was trying to get ready with the clothes the hotel provided but I found myself having issues with the length of the jacket. My scars were showing. How could I face my father after he did all this for Will and I and have the ugliness that I had inflicted on myself on display. Will could sense my frustration. Pulling me over to the bed he sat me down and rolled my sleeves up and took my arms in his warm hands.

"I have something that will help."

Bringing out a black box that he had delivered to the room as if he had been expecting this. Pulling out a few implements I saw he had make up. Quietly I watched him cover all the shame I had cut into my flesh. One by one he would kiss each and apply different flesh colored creams. Once again my precious Will was erasing my mistakes for me. Replacing an odious part of myself with something clean and beautiful.

Getting the finishing touches done we headed down to the formal dining room.

My father was not dressed in his usual robes but in a well cut suit of black and red. Won't lie dad looked sharp. Will and I looked like we were groomsman with our matching suits. Only difference was our ties. I had on a black on white paisley and he had on... I can't say it... I won't say it... but you can see it so... rubber ducks. I love my boyfriend but he could use some fashion sense. Maybe the part of him that is attracted to women also dresses him.

Sitting with my father I thought would be awkward and weird. To my relief my father and Will seemed to talk like old friends. Well I guess they did talk while I was healing from my self destructiveness. Will even laughed at my dad's poor choice in jokes and my dad laughed at Wills awful puns! I hated the puns. Wills ass in nice jeans made up for his puns. Clearing his throat my dad made a business face like he was going to announce something.

"William I know it's my sons birthday and yes Nico I do have a gift for you but I also have a small one for William."

"Sir you didn't have to..."

"Nonsense! My son has flourished under your care and you make him happy. My wife tried to steal this glory from me but I'm taking it for myself. I know you already saw your brothers but I wanted to give you the information about your mother."

"My..my mother? She's here isn't she? Nico said that your wife said she was in Elysium."

"Yes and no. She made it to paradise yes but not here. See William your mother may have had a relationship with a Greek god but her roots are more... Norse. Your mother was chosen for Valhalla. She passed away soon after you came to camp.

A drug dealer she was involved with tried to hurt a boy he was using as a mule. A boy who reminded her of you. She knew she couldn't get away from this man and that eventually he would get to you. She left you to keep him away from you. Then when he went to hurt the other boy she put herself in between them. Your mother fought hard and even though she died she brought the dealer down with her. Her bravery bought her a place in Odins chosen army. Annabeth Chase knows about the Norse gods and has contacts there. If you so choose to see your mother I will talk to the All father of the Norse and arrange a meeting so that you may say your goodbyes. Good or bad. I'm willing to help you with this."

Will was speechless.

So was I.

"Nico as for you. Happy birthday my son"

He handed me a small book sized package. Black paper with a red bow. While Will was still trying to compartmentalize everything my dad said I unwrapped the gift to see a hand written Italian cook book. Opening it was a picture of my mother and Bianca sitting with my father in a rather stark pose. Black and white obviously and from what I could tell my mother was pregnant. That was me. Flipping through the pages I saw many different recipes all written in my mother tongue. The back of the book had a small vinyl record tucked into it. On the front it said "carmen."

"I fell in love with two things with your mother. Her cooking and her voice. She was performing Carmen in Venice when we first met. Your step mother may have obliterated her but she can never take away her voice. That's her in the record. I have already placed a record player in your bedroom in the cabin for when you return. I thought you should have these. Maria was actually quite famous in her day. I also know that your voice is just as lovely as hers."

Tears fell silently down my face. Hades gave me and my love a piece of our mother's back to us. Gods are famous for being bad parents and my father and I have had our differences in the past. Hades was the best godly parent a child could ever ask for. I dropped the book on the table running around to my father embracing him tightly. I could feel him plant little kisses on my long Raven hair that matched his so perfectly.

"I love you Nico. And I expect you to make some of those recipes and sacrifice them to me."

"Father I promise as much as you want!"

"Good now sit down and order your dessert. Any kind you want just know that a candle and singing will be included"

Will still didn't say anything. He sang the birthday song but he was still silent. Standing to depart I hugged my father tight and for much longer than usual. Will went to shake my fathers hand and then hesitated looking into his face. Rushing forward he embraced my father in a bear hug. I squeaked at the forwardness and the other dining guests fell silent. My father on the other hand returned the hug in full force. Finally letting go my father brushed Wills cheek with his hand.

"William you are my family to now. When demigods fall in love it takes ruthless circumstances to come between them. You may be to young to become officially part of the family but I have a feeling on a few years you will be. I can see the love between you. Thank you for loving Nico. Son."

Will choked at the last word. Then croaked "Your welcome..dad"

Hades smiled and left. Walking to the room hand in hand with my book under my arm we couldn't stop giving the other one a meaningful squeeze and brush of the knuckles.

Undressing from our formal ware I decided that I was just going to stay in boxers. Will chose the same fate yet was working on something outside. Walking to the balcony I saw a wonderful display of pillows and blankets. A bottle of Rosa Regale was chilling in a bucket and bowl of truffles sat next to it. Holding out his hand he lead me to the best of pillows.

"You William are a cliche and a sap."

"You love it"

"Maybe.."

"I thought that I would give you a night under the stars with wine and chocolate."

"Cliche!"

"Oh just wait for the poetry!"

"No!"

"No I'm kidding about that part"

"Whew"

"Just sit down and let me be cheesy and stupid and cliche. "

I was half sitting half laying on the pillows when Will brought over the food and drink. Wrapping my legs around his midriff he places a truffle in his mouth and leaned in. I bit the other half of the sinfully good chocolate and finished it with a kiss.

Pouring us each a glass of the dessert wine we sipped it looking up at the sky. The underworld was so different than the mortal world. Even the stars were different. Brighter with different constellations. A beautiful streak ran through it much like the northern lights. We finished the wine and chocolates much quicker than I realized. Will crawled over me supporting himself with his elbows trailing kisses up and down my neck.

"Oh are you trying to seduce me?"

"Oh yeah. Birthday sex is the best sex."

"How would you know that?"

"Because it's your birthday and it's with you so it's obviously going to be the best."

"Maybe I shouldn't have slept with you. Ever since that day you haven't been able to keep your hands to yourself"

"Do you really want me to keep my hands to myself?"

"Fuck no"

"See who needs poetry when you have obscene cursing."

"My thoughts exactly. Like when I do that think with my mouth on your..." he cut me off with a kiss.

"Yes I curse a lot when you do that but to my defense I can't think clearly when your talented mouth is there."

"Talented huh?"

"Yeah and apparently you are holding back on me with the talent!"

"How am I holding back?"

"Well I don't know if you caught it at dinner but your dad kind of hinted that you can sing."

"Well I don't know about that I just play around in the shower a bit."

"Will you sing for me sometime?"

"Do that one thing with your fingers and I'll be singing in no time"

"I'm serious Nico. My dad is the god of music I would love to hear you sing. I sound like a dead walrus when I sing."

"Oh I know that's why I turn the volume all the way up on the tv when you are in the shower. "

Will bit my shoulder in retaliation.

"Ouch! That hurt you dick!"

" You have endured worse"

"True"

"Shit do we have any condoms?"

"I think we used the last one this morning. Before the massages."

"Damnit!"

"You are right to worry Will. I haven't taken my pill in days and we don't want a teen pregnancy on our hands!"

Bastard bit me again!

"I'm serious Nico"

"I know I'm just saying... maybe just this once... since you know we are clean and I am lacking a uterus?"

"Yeah well so was Kaylas dad but... "

"Well Kayla dad is a god Will he is your dad too. Her mom had the reproductive organs"

"Um no Nico Kaylas dad is a world

Class archer. Him and my dad.. had Kayla."

"Oh like all the Athena kids?"

"I guess so. Never asked my dad about it though now that we are in this situation maybe I should."

"Does she have a belly button!"

"She had two!"

"Seriously!"

"No!"

"Damnit that would have been awesome."

"Yes it would"

"But in all seriousness Will neither of us is a god. We both have normal boy parts."

"True"

"So..."

"Well..."

"C'mon! Just this once!"

"Once? Nico I believe our average is 3 or 4 times everytime we get into... this "

"Very true but I meant this one night. We can pick up more tomorrow."

"I swear to your dad if you get pregnant!"

" Then I get pregnant! Who cares!"

"I care I'm not ready for that!"

"Will! I am not a girl! Why are we having this conversation! Why are you not knee deep in me right now!"

"But..but "

"No buts! Unless it's my butt we are talking about! My birthday my rules! Shut the fuck up and take me!"

"Wow I've never seen you so... dominate"

"Well you are driving me nuts with this stupid talk about things that can't happen!"

"You are so fucking sexy when you yell at me like that"

Taking my mouth in a vigor that rivaled his usual lust for me I wrapped my legs tighter around him and dug my heels into his lower back. Fingers tangled in his hair we rolled threw the pillows devouring eachothers flesh. Limbs and cries of bliss filled the space. Memorizing the texture of eachother and committing taste and sounds to memory. So close wrapped in eachother we breathed the same air huffing into eachothers mouths as we rutted forcefully against eachother.

Seriously though why did we even bother with clothing when we were alone! Clothes were stupid and useless when alone with eachother. Rapturous moans and lustful writhing not even an inch of space between us.

If we weren't already in Elysium then I could have sworn we both died and went there.


	10. It was all real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico has a flashback of when he was in Tartarus realizing it wasn't all in his head... it was happening to him for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rape flash back
> 
> Trigger warning

Being back at the cabin was awesome. Don't get me wrong going on vacation was amazing, but being home is so much more my speed. Will was working on my bed mixing something?

"What are you doing?"

"Making a new paste from the infirmary. Oh by the way your sister left me some notes on the nightmare pills I'm making you."

"Melinoe?"

"Yeah. She included this recipe too and I'm trying my best to mix it right."

"What is it?"

"A scar paste. The Aphrodite kids found out about it and within three days I had all the ingredients delivered to the infirmary. I'm not even sure how they got them. Some of this shit is super hard to find."

"Vanity is a huge motivator. I guess t would be nice to keep things from scarring."

"Oh this doesn't just keep things from scarring it also removes old ones."

"What's in it?"

"Well I had to imbue some herbs and let them sit in nectar a few days. Powdered unicorn horn, a virgins tears, ambrosia juice, Pom seeds that must be picked from Persephone's garden, and Vaseline."

"Vaseline?"

"It's the cure for everything other than windex. Trust me I'm a doctor."

"You are not a doctor"

"I will be though!"

"Is it a money thing or an actual passion for you?"

"Passion. If I need money I'm certain I can market this shit one day. I don't think it would be difficult to make it mortal safe. "

"What kind of doctor?"

"Emergency room. I like the rush. Pass me those roots."

I handed him some ugly roots that were sitting on the coffee table. Will looked adorable working on my bed in his PJs. Focused and adorable. His pants had little rainbows on them today... wait those are mine?!

"How did you fit in my pants?"

"We are not that much different waist wise in just taller. These are short on me but since we are not leaving the cabin today who gives a shit."

"Fair enough. Piper gave me this pair. I like the way these feel. They are all slinky and loose. I could wear these all day."

"Yeah those are yoga pants."

"What's yoga?"

"Oh gods. I'll let Piper handle that one. Sometimes assimilating you to this decade is exhausting. I don't get it, either it's not like you remember that much from your childhood from your dip in the Lethe. You should have assimilated quicker."

"One. Fuck you. Two. Ever since my dealings with Mr.T all that shit from my past came rushing back thank you. Three. You look stupid."

"Says the guy wearing yoga pants."

"Says the guy wearing rainbows!"

"Says the guy who owns the rainbows I am wearing."

"Touché. You win this time Sunshine. I'll get you though. I'm like a ninja."

"Small, dressed in black, and annoying?"

" You are the annoying one. I'm the cool one in the relationship."

"You're the girl in the relationship."

"Fuck you! I would throw a pillow at you if I didn't want that shit all over my bed."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it I was just joking" Will giggled mixing the paste in a wooden bowl.

"I've had people ask me that too! Who's the girl? Neither of us is the girl that's the point!"

"That's not really what they are trying to ask. They are trying to ask who pitches and who catches."

"Catches what?"

"Oh my gods!" Will laughed so hard glitter from the unicorn horn went everywhere.

"Shit dude be careful! Seriously though what does that mean?"

"They are asking which one of us takes it in the ass."

"Well that's me so far I guess... shit I'm the girl!"

"And the catcher."

"That's stupid just because I'm the one on that end doesn't make me the girl."

"Of course it doesn't sweety."

"Did you want to try it the other way around?"

"No"

"What?!"

"What? I don't! Is that such a bad thing?"

"Yeah it is! So you ever once intended to bottom?"

"Nope not my style. Not yours either"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I guess guys like you don't really top. Let me explain. It's not because you are tiny.."

"I'm not fucking tiny! You take that back!"

"Not like that! I meant your height. Babe you are like 5'5". You weigh like 100lbs max. You are tiny. You are still young though you could have a growth spurt any time now. Maybe you are just a late bloomer. I doubt it though. Your voice already changed and you are already getting your jawline and filling out. You might pack on more muscle but I doubt you will grow to much more. You might hit 5'7" if you are lucky."

"I'm 5'4" actually" I grumbled under my breath.

"See my point? But that's not what we were discussing. I meant that guys like you are more likely to be submissive in bed."

"Guys like me?"

"Yeah. Masters of the universe types. You have intimidating fear thing that you strike in people. The air of control. You are master of your destiny type thing. Like a small alpha dog type. Guys who are all alpha tend to be submissive in bed because it's the one place they can let their guard down and release control."

"What does that make you?"

"That makes me the really hot well built arm candy."

"It's true I like to bite your arms."

"That's not what I mean... never mind."

"So you just knew I would be the bottom?"

"Yes and to be fair once again you topping me wouldn't be the easiest with our size difference. It's possible. Just to much trouble."

"You are reaching."

"Yes.. yes I am. I don't want to bottom ok. Bottoming hurts."

"Yeah it does hurt. Yet here we are. You deflowered me and it hurt and I still love you."

"I cannot believe you just said deflowered. Next thing you know you are going to start calling it having relations"

"Voglio che mi porti sul tavolino e mi scopri fino a quando non posso camminare."

"Bless you!"

"Oh shut up. You need to learn Italian."

"What did you say?"

"If you knew Italian we would be having a different conversation right now."

"Well then I'm just going to assume it was about my good looks and how much you adore me."

"That was exactly it. This is why we are meant for eachother. "

"I love it when you are sarcastic."

"I know"

"If only your shadow was as big as your ego"

"Shut your whore mouth Peter Pan before I steal yours."

"Ok ok I'm done with the short jokes. I'm done mixing the stuff did you want to help me test it?"

Walking over I sat on the bed next to him. Mixing the paste I could smell berries and mint. Maybe a hint of ginger? I kind of wanted to eat it. It was a deep violet color with sparkles in it from the unicorn horn.

"Which scar did you want to try it on?"

"Gods I don't know? I have so many."

"Take your clothes off lets go through them and the one you hate the most we will try the paste on."

"I feel like this is just a plot to get me naked?"

"I don't need a plot to get you naked I just need to nibble your ear enough and I can do that. "

"I wish I could argue that point with a tiny quip or a good comeback but alas you are correct. Ok let's take an inventory for the sake of you trying out your new toy."

"You are actually the perfect person to try this stuff out on. I really don't feel like testing this on the Ares cabin. Well I guess I could just get Kayla to do it. Yeah that's a Kayla job of this stuff works."

Removing my shirt and my "yoga pants?" I was left in a pair of black briefs that made Wills freckles glow. Haha win.

Looking at the different marks on me I started telling him what each of them was.

"This is from the battle of manhattan. I think it was a spear. These are burns from when I was down in the labyrinth with Minos. These are from a Lycon. These are sword marks from quests and such. This was a deep scrape from when I traveled into a tree by mistake. These in my forearm are from when I traveled to china by mistake and some lady started hitting me with a live chicken. Chicken talons are harsh. Some on my back from various fights and falls."

"What about the one on your back with the two big red dots. That's probably your deepest one. Well it's the one that keloided the most."

"Keloid?"

"Thick intense scar tissue. Raised scars. You have the two big red ones on your left side toward the bottom. It's very distinct what's that from?"

"I don't know what you are talking about actually I can't see it."

Will took out his new Leo made demigod cell phone that we were all issued as soon as he was done with them. Turning it to the camera he took a picture of the scar and I reached around to feel it. It was deep all right. How had I never noticed that one? Well it's in my back so I don't exactly look at my back. Or at myself in the mirror either really. Taking the phone I looked at the picture and as soon as I saw it I was pulled into an awful flash back.

*"Jerry I'm done with him why don't you take a turn!" The evil orderly laughed. As soon as I escaped his grip I ran to the bed trying to get underneath so they couldn't defile my body anymore. I was tired of fighting but I wasn't going to give in. They had used my body for hours this time holding me down like a rag doll. Laughing at my pain. At what they were doing to me. "You're gay arnt you? Your supposed to like it right? Why are you crying isn't this what fags like you want?" His voice was like needles in my ears. I managed to escape under the hospital bed. The Jerry monster came over and had a large wand thing in his hand. I realized quickly it was a cattle prod. Poking it under the bed he found the small of my back and electricity shot clear through my body. I froze in pain unable to move. Snatching my hair he pulled me out and threw me over the bed as I heard him unbuckle his pants once again*

"Oh my.. it's.. it was.. it was real...it really happened."

"What really happened Nico?" Will was getting concerned look on his face.

"The ra.. the rape. Tartarus. It wasn't all in my head like I thought. " I could feel my breathing quicken at the realization. Panic rose in my chest and tears streamed down hitting my bare thighs. That's when everything went dark.

I woke up in my bed. Everything hurt. I looked down and I was once again hooked to an IV and a blood bag. Deep gashes littered my legs and arms. New gashes. They were closed but still very pink, and sensitive to the touch. I felt floaty. Like I was on pain killers. Maybe I was. Who knew what was in the clear bag. Will was asleep with his head on the end of the bed. What happened? The constant question plaguing me once more...

What did I do?

Nudging him with my foot under the blanket wrapped around me, he woke and looked up. Wills eyes were swollen and red. He looked like shit. Who knew how long I was out.

"Oh thank gods you are up. It was touch and go there for a while. Luckily ours dad's showed up when I called. My dad helped me with you and your dad went and snatched up Jason. He's the same blood type as you."

"What happened?"

"We don't have to talk about that right now baby."

"Will I don't remember what happened. Tell me what happened! Did I do this?"

"Yeah baby you did."

"Why?"

"Well I showed you the scar on your back and you went into an episode. You started crying and then your face went blank but you were still crying and you ran to the kitchen and grabbed one of the knives and it was almost like you were trying to peel your skin off. It was the scariest thing I had ever seen. It was scarier than when I found you in the bathroom. You went so deep and struck so hard. I fought the knife away from you while praying to my dad. So much blood."

I saw the blood on his clothes. My blood.

"Fuck! Seriously!"

"Yeah seriously. I knew you weren't here when it was all happening . You weren't responsive it was like I wasn't even here. Like you couldn't see me. You just started attacking your body out of nowhere. I took it upon myself to use that paste while you were out. I erased that scar that set you off. I didn't want there to be a chance it would trigger that again. But I'm sorry baby but I had Kayla and Austin take all the weapons and sharps out of the house again. Just until I know your safe. I know that wasn't conscious but still.. I need to know you can't get ahold of anything right now."

"Will.." it was barely a whisper. I shed tears pooled behind my eyes. How could I do this to him. How could I just break like that. I was doing better! I was better! I was doing my therapy and I was taking my meds! How could I do this to the man I love again. Was it always going to be like this, me snapping and trying to hurt myself? Will stood up and came up to the head of the bed to take my hand in his. Rubbing my knuckles with his thumb I saw dried tears that stained his face and new ones join them. Will was a silent crier. Just tears and a few catching breaths and voice breaks. Never full on sobs. Yet if I had to guess by his face he may have broken that rule and let go.

" You don't have to tell me about it right now babe. You don't even have to tell me at all. Just promise me you will talk about it in therapy so we can try to prevent this from happening again."

" I know why it triggered. I just can't remember what happened after. Will.. it was real. The men in Tartarus. The ones who..who..raped me.. it really happened. It wasn't in my head!"

" Yeah I kind of put that together. You said that and then you snapped. Nico I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you found out like that."

"Will it's not your fault ok! Don't you dare think this is your fault! It was a picture of something that I had on my body since you met me. No one could have foreseen that happening. Not even me. It was just like.. I saw the scar and the shape of it and it just clicked in my head and the memory flooded back and I just.. I guess my mind just shut off."

"It's more common than you think baby. It's a way our brains protect us. Shutting off the lights if you will."

"I'm sorry baby please just.. please don't leave.." I choked the the last word out.

Leaning over me quickly he pressed his forehead into mine holding my face in his hands.

"I'm not going anywhere. Nico that wasn't you. That was a sickness and a reaction to something horrifying that happened to you. Something that should have never happened to you. "

Scooting over I pulled him in the lay with me, tripping and pulling tubes and IVs all the while. He finally settled himself and brought me to his chest as we laid there emotionally naked and vulnerable to eachother.

"Am I ever going to be normal?"

"Gods I hope not. I want these episodes to go away but as for normal? I wouldn't have you any other way."

"What does that say about you?"

"Oh glutton for punishment I'm assuming."

"I love you Will I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I know you are sorry. You didn't do this in purpose. It just happened. Now we are going to move forward and try to make it better. Nico I love you so much and I promise I'm going to find a way to make these blackouts stop."

"What if you can't?"

"Then I'll be here to patch you up every single time. I might be the one physically stitching you back together, but you are he one that's made me whole."

"Did I hurt you? Like when you were fighting the knife away from me did I get you?"

"Oh yeah this isn't all your blood some of its mine too. You my love are a very talented fighter, even when you are blacked out."

"Who healed you? Your dad?"

"Ok I guess I'm going to have to admit something to you now don't I?"

He reached over to side table and found a stitching needle still in the package. It was large and curved. I guess he has extras in case. It wasn't enough for me to cause real harm to myself if I got ahold of it, so I can understand why it's still in the cabin. Unwrapping it I watched him curiously. Taking the needle in his right hand he touched it to his skin. Digging into his flesh I took in a breath of horror watching Will draw blood from his left forearm. What I didn't expect was it closed seconds after it tore the skin leaving the blood but his skin unscarred and unmarked. What the?

"Holy Wolverine! You can't be hurt?"

"Not exactly. Sharp things can penetrate me but the second they are removed I close up. So I could be killed if impaled and the sword stayed there. I could bleed out or suffer organ damage as long as the object stays there."

"Wow that's a real gift. You are lucky."

"Yeah I guess so. Never been sick either. Never thrown up. It's weird. I heal people all day long and walk them through diseases and flu's and I have never experienced it myself."

"I wish I could do that."

"I don't. Then you would have an excuse to hurt yourself. Nope I'm glad you have that fear of hurting yourself you need that fear it's a good fear. So this is going to sound weird but bare with me trying to lighten the mood."

"What is it?"

"You don't know what Yoga is, but the wolverine reference was the first thing to fly out of your mouth after seeing that?"

"Priorities." I chortled

"There you go again. Making me love you even more than yesterday."


	11. Valhalla when we die!! Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabeth helps Nico get in contact with her cousin in Boston to get info on Wills mom! Introducing a crossover of Magnus chase with our Soangelo

A month had passed and I was getting stronger and healthy once again. It seemed like a vicious cycle. I get better, I snap, I hurt myself, Will heals me. Alas we made it through. Will asked if I wanted the paste to cover up all the marks on my body but I decided against it. Sometimes they are good reminders of where you have been. Stories on the skin of you will. I was back to training hard at night and Will had all but moved into my cabin.

I found myself on the dock at the sound, dipping my pale toes into the water. Annabeth made her way down the wooden planks with a glimmer of intent in her eyes. Part of me was super scared. I will never admit that to her through. Sitting down next to me I saw the way her hair glimmered in the sunset. It looked a lot like Wills. Damnit I miss Will and we haven't even been apart more than five hours.

Stupid love.

"So I got a black envelope from your dad!"

"What did it say?"

"Something along the lines of you and Will going on a trip to Valhalla?"

"Oh shit the thing with Wills mom! I forgot about that! You have contacts with the Norse gods?"

"Well my cousin Magnus is a Norse demi God and he kind of.. well he died and went to Valhalla. Did some quests and got some privileges. In Odins good books ya know?"

"Wow your family had a thing for gods."

"Your telling me! So I've arranged for you guys to see him this weekend. Him and his girl... boy... his significant partner will be meeting you in Boston."

"Wanna explain that?"

"Magnus is dating a trans gendered person. Because of her demi God powers she can't really control whether she is male or female so it's not like she's transitioning to her true gender so she's... gender fluid? From what Magnus tells me just go with the pronoun she unless she corrects you. By the way he's the son of Frey."

"What does he look like?"

"Blonde.. blue eyed... healer..."

"Oh so totally my type!"

"Yeah I guess so! Well he's a little dead but.. yeah your type."

"Blonde healers are my cup of tea."

"Well now we know since Percy isn't your type!"

"Wow he is never going to let me live hag shit down is he?"

"I think you may have hurt his feelings."

"Well it's not that he's not my type, honestly I didn't even know my type. It was just like a hero worship thing I think. I don't think of him the way I think of Will."

"You mean naked?"

"I don't need to think of Will naked all I have to do is touch him a bit... and I'm oversharing!"

"No please go on I would love to have girl talk about our boyfriends!"

"Girl talk huh? I've never done that."

"Well ok start since you are new to it. So since you have seen Will naked can I assume you to are... ya know... doing it."

"I can't believe the smartest girl in the world just said "doing it."

"C'mon Neeks spill!"

"Yeah ok we are in a physical relationship. A first for both of us. I won't lie it was amazing. So much better than anything I've seen or read about it. Like stars exploding from inside you. It's the best thing. I can't believe I waited as long as we did. If I would have known it was that great I would have jumped him the moment the war ended. What about you and Perce?"

"Yeah well yes we are physical."

"Will and I only started like two months ago. When did you lose it?"

"On the Argo II on the way to save you."

"So while I was trapped as a pawn in a very small bronze jar, you were losing your vCard?"

"Well when you put it that way!"

"I'm just giving you a hard time. So how is he?"

"Well I don't think I've ever seen stars if that's what your asking."

"What? So like.. he's bad in bed?".

"I wouldn't say bad it's just not like what you are experiencing. The way you just described it.. I'm kinda jealous!"

"That's the beauty of is Anna! It's this all encompassing love that rips into you and throws you into this deep level of intimacy that just... melts over your soul. It's going to heaven and coming back alive. Over and over again."

"Wow.. how often do you... go to heaven?"

"Like twice a day. More on the weekends. You?"

"Oh shit well umm we uh. I guess we do it like twice a week? If I give in. It's just not like that with me. What your describing is like what people write in novels. It's not what sex is really like."

"Well maybe not for you but for me that's exactly what it's like. I'm not even exaggerating it's like the best thing I've ever experienced. How can you not like it!"

"I don't know, maybe because I've never... gotten there.."

"Wait so you haven't ever.. you haven't ever had an... you never once.. finished?"

"See everyone says that but what is that really!"

"Anna it's an orgasm! Like an explosion inside you with a pulse!"

"I've never had one! There is something wrong with me!"

"Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's him. Is it just that he's not doing it right?"

"Ok, I can't believe I'm telling you this. It's like we start and it's great. We kiss and we get undressed and then he just... shoves it on and goes for about 15 minutes and then he's done and he goes to sleep."

"Wow i dodged a fucking bullet!

"Shut up! What else is there!"

"I don't know, how about foreplay."

"What?"

"I've read a bunch of stuff from Wills library. Especially when we started so I could pick up a thing or two. Go and look up a magazine called Cosmo. It will explain a lot of things. Oh and try having him get you there first before he goes for his own."

"Ya know I never thought I would be asking Nico Di Angelo for sex advice."

"Well the more you know!"

"I'll look up those tips. Maybe by the time you are back from Boston I'll have a better story for you on the dock."

"Ok I got to ask.. is he big?"

"Average."

"Whoa yeah dodged a bullet."

"Will?"

"Honey I couldn't sit for 2 days."

"Oh my word! That big?"

"That big (wink)"

"Well arnt you the lucky boy!"

"I really am. More than you know."

"Well then maybe you should send Will over to Percy's cabin to give him a few tips on pleasing his lover."

"I could do that ya know."

"Maybe when you guys get back."

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow around 11 of you are shadows traveling. 9 if you are risking the train."

"Nah I'm good I can get us to Boston. I feel a lot stronger now."

"Good! Here is the address you should travel to. It's a coffee shop he likes to go to. Magnus loves scones."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Good luck Nico. I really enjoyed this talk. We should have girl talk more often."

"Yeah it was awesome. Next time we should include Piper and Rachel."

"Agreed."

Taking Wills hand the next morning around 10:45am, I pulled in the darkness around us in a wet blanket of whooshing sound and reverberation. Landing infront of a coffee shop the most tricked the mortals into seeing two kids tripping over eachother. Looking around I saw a head of spun gold that matched Annabeths shade perfectly. Magnus was sitting with a striking person that adorned green hair and green and pink clothing. Gender fluid was right on the money. Walking over to them Wills hand still entwined in mine we sat down across from them.

"Hey! I'm Nico Di Angelo and this is Will Solace. We are friends of Annabeths."

Shaking our hands Magnus introduced himself along with the lovely Alex fierro. Two perfect coffees were waiting for us along with scones.

"So Will who is your godly parent since we are all in the demi club!" Asked Alex intrigued.

"Apollo. I'm a healer."

She looked at him closely and then darted her eyes over to Magnus and then back to Will. Then she looked me dead in the eyes.

"Guess we both have something in common huh?"

Both blondes looked confused and well... their hair didn't help with how they weren't catching on.

"She means we both like blonde healers."

Both of their light bulbs finally went off with a king above their heads. Then it was like both blonde boys ended up checking eachother over and then looking at each others lover. As is they were comparing and contrasting.

"Ok bimbos lets not play the "which healer has he cuter boyfriend game" ok."

"We were not! Never mind. Are you guys ready to head to Valhalla? The All-father sent you special passes. They are only for a day and who knows how long it will take to find the person you are looking for."

"Oh we are looking for my mother. Her name is Naomi Solace."

"Oh shit! I know your mom! She plays at that country bar on the 18th floor." She said to Magnus.

Magnus shook his head in understanding. Walking to the edge of the pond he took his necklace off and it became a sword. Cutting into the air a sort of portal appeared and we stepped through. Reattaching the necklace as we walked up the grass to what looked like a luxury hotel I laughed internally at Magnus with his sword necklace. Reminded me of riptide.

Walking into the obvious Norse decor I could feel the dead energy whirling around me in a whole new way. The feeling was palpable. Maybe because I was the child of a death god. Terrible elevator music filled our ears as we chatted small talk to eachother and hit the number 18 on the elevator. Will was stiff and not talking. Nervous was an understatement. Sweat beaded on his forehead as the floors flew by.

"Are you ok sunshine?" I held his hand tighter.

"I'm fine just.. just a little overwhelmed. I haven't seen her in 6 years and I only found out recently that she had died."

" Well she's here so she died bravely." Stated Magnus with all the confidence of his own statement.

Dinging the elevator came to a stop... Will froze as we tried to exit

To be conintuned...


	12. Valhalla when we die!!! Part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find Wills mom in Valhalla... only to find it she hasn't really changed. Intense mother son moment.

I've only seen Will go pale once before and it involved talking about his mother. Sweat beaded along his forehead, I pulled him out of the elevator physically and he was still a statue.

"Will are you ok?" Asked Magnus.

A buzzing came from around Magnus's neck and he pulled the sword necklace off.

"Hello senors! Whoa who's this dude! Why is he so pale!"

"Shut up Jack he's just a bit nervous."

"The fucking sword can talk!"

"Yeah... he's actually quite a chatter box."

"I am! And a great swordsman!"

"So you fight well?" I chimed.

"He means he's a ladies man with other weapons."

"Yes exactly and I wouldn't mind getting to know the pretty exotic thing on your hip!"

"What! My Stygian sword is a girl?"

"Yes and a lovely curvy one at that! I love me some Greek. A weapon bathed in a cursed river always gets my hilt gleaming!"

"Ok jack you said your peace lets give these guys a break."

"Ok senor. I'll ask her out another time. You hear that babe? Won't be he last time you hear from me. Maybe we can go somewhere and get polished?"

Magnus grabbed Jack and re-necklaced him. That was weird even in the pagan afterlife.

Walking through the hallways of the hotel Valhalla we passed many different warriors killing eachother for fun. Alex explained how the death is only temporary and that they respawn later. Plus an intriguing how I met Magnus story involving decapitation. Wills pale parlor turned slightly green at the story. I personally think it was a cute get together. Restaurants and bars started to line the hallways.

"This is the entertainment wing. Your mom plays at the country bar twice a week."

Walking into the crowd a vestige of colorful patrons lined the walls. One who looked like he would be more comfortable at a rock show was sitting at the front with tears in his eyes. Getting a table toward the back we sat down waiting for the second half of the show to start. Cups of a golden liquid was served to us by a old mean waitress who had an unlit cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Sipping the contents a buzzing went through my body like the time I tried to wake jason up from a nightmare. I wanted to purchase a gallon of the stuff to take home. Alex assured me she would hook me up and send some to our camp.

A pretty brunette graced the stage. Older but only in her 30s. Wills hand found mine under the table, he almost broke my fingers. That must be Naomi. Playing her set I saw Alex head toward the stage and talk to a man on the side. Maybe there owner? Nodding his head and looking over at us he gave a thumbs up.

After the show ... and a few more rounds of the mead, people started to file out.

" Jake the manager told me to just wait here and he would have her come to the table. Said we could use the place as long as we needed for this. I made him a planter last week so he owes me."

"Planters?"

"I do pottery."

"Wow the afterlife here is so.. normal."

"Yeah, you will have to tell us how it is on the Greek side."

I couldn't help it. While she was talking I was staring at Magnus. Blonde healers... my weakness. I soon got a jab in the ribs.

"Take a picture it lasts longer!"

"Babe seriously I wasn't, ok I was but I was just looking!"

"Yeah well we are here for a reason. Not for you to fill up your spank bank."

"My what?"

"Never mind here she comes." Will swallows a lot when he's nervous.

Naomi was a spitting image of Will only with brown hair and green eyes. Also she had a Texas drawl that was much stronger than Wills.

"Will! I'm so happy to see... are you dead ? Shouldn't you be in the Greek underworld?!" She stated putting her hands over her mouth.

Will wasn't speaking. I had to check if he had stopped breathing. Frozen infront of her he didn't move. Alex and Magnus waited outside the bar for us to give Will privacy but I'm not sure that was the best idea. I decided that the ice needed to be broken a bit. I held my hand out to her.

"Hi Ms. Solace in Nico Di Angelo."

"Hello darlin! Well you are just the sweetest little thing! Are you and Will friends?"

"Nico is my boyfriend." Will coldly interjected.

"Oh I see. Still haven't gotten over that have you."

"No I haven't and I'm not sure I'm going to."

"Well atleast you picked a cute one."

I was both offended and flattered. Very confusing.

"Well lets sit down boys and trade death stories!"

Sitting down the barmaid brought over another round.

"We didn't die Will and I are actually alive we go to demigod camp together."

"Oh yes I've been informed of such things while I been here. I knew Will was one. So who's your daddy? Or mama or whatever?"

"Hades. That's why we can come visit you. My dad called in a favor with the All father."

"Well color me wonderful that's great. "

The longer she spoke the whiter Wills knuckles got.

"So how did you die Naomi?"

It wasn't me talking. That was Will. I've never heard him speak in such a cold spiteful voice before. I also cringe hearing anyone refer to their parent by their first name.

"Well I guess you want to know why I left?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. I think that's owed."

"Ok well, I was in the hospital and they pumped my stomach. After I was released my dealer picked me up. I saw he had some boy with him. I asked about the boy and he told me he was a mule. Not much older than you Will. He asked me if the cops took you because he had a job that he could use you for. I told him that I had been in for a few days and I was sure they had already picked you up. Instead of taking me home he just kept me in the car. Said if they did pick you up than I had no reason to go back. I had already spoken with Apollo he told me he would come for you if I couldn't come back.

I figured it was better that way. I've never really been the best.. the mother you needed. Well I walked in on the dealer hitting the boy a few days later and Willy he looked just like you and I snapped. I fought him to the dirt I grabbed him and I just found anyway I could to hurt him. I was beaten pretty bad but I got him in the end. Knocked his neck against a table while the boy got away. Then I found myself being taken by the Valkyries. I knew you would be ok you always could take care of yourself. So independent and all."

"Independent?! Are you fucking mental I was a child!"

Will stood and screamed at her. I won't lie I don't blame him at all she made the story seem so... nonchalant. Like it was no big deal she ended up in the hospital and never went back to her son.

"I was the child and you were the grown up! You were supposed to protect me! Not go off and get high because I ruined your life having me! I was independent because if I wasn't I would have starved, I would have lived in filth!"

"Well son I think that's a bit of an exaggeration."

"Don't you son me! You are not my family. Nico is my family now. Apollo is my family. You didn't even need to work he was taking care of us! You had a chance to raise me without worry but you just had to pop another pill or take one more drink!"

"I was in pain William I did what I had to. I needed a little medication you can't blame me for that! The only thing I blame on t is he fact that you ended up like this! Maybe if I was a bit more attentive you wouldn't have ended up so..."

"... so what Naomi? So gay? Well for your information I'm not gay I'm bisexual. Just like dad."

"Your father is not biwhatever!"

"Yes he is read a book! Ask him yourself!"

"Well I never."

"That's right Naomi you never. You ever show up when you need to. You never have food in the house. You never loved me enough to stay."

"Will of course I love you! How could you say I don't love you."

"Well you have a funny way of showing it lady. You don't deserve this place, this heaven. You sure as hell don't deserve my respect. I love you and I always will that's something I have to carry with me. Loving someone you doesn't know how to love. But I found someone who does know how to love me back even if it doesn't fit your hillbilly ideals. I came here hoping I could forgive you. I came here hoping I could make peace with everything that happened. I can't I'm sorry but I'm not ready to. Some mule meant more to you than me."

Will turned on his heal. Rushing over to Alex and Magnus, both of them obviously asking him why he was so upset. I turned to look at Naomi.

"Your son is safe. He lives with me. I love him. I'm not going to leave him. He's not going to leave me. All you need to know is that he's safe. I can protect him."

"Yeah he wasn't ever much of a fighter as a kid. "

"You would be surprised."

"You promise to take care of him?"

"Yup. But don't mistake my kindness for weakness ma'am. I think more than I say and I notice more than you realize."

"Get that off a bumper sticker did you?"

"Yeah well it doesn't make it any less true."

I walked away feeling righteous. Will was on the floor in the lobby gripping his hair trying to breathe through the pain.

"I think we should take this party to floor 19." Said Alex.

"I'm on it." I grabbed her hand putting it over my shoulder. Magnus was already holding hands with... him I think alex was a him right now? Then I put my hands on Will and focused on the words floor 19.

You know what I love about shadows traveling in an underworld setting? No lag. No tiredness. Just me and my natural element. The others ... well let's just say Alex ran off the minute we handed and threw up in some potted plants. I wonder if she made the pots?

"Well you told off your dead mother Will, you know what that means?" Said Magnus.

"What?"

"Mean we are going to throw one hell of a party in my hallway tonight. Distraction is the best medicine."

Oh this was going to be good.


	13. Party on floor 19!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys party it up trying not to feel feelings!! Nico kisses a girl... kinda? Will has a promise for Nico.

Party in Valhalla

The party was nothing short of everything you saw in he movies. Every room was different. Some were hang out rooms, some had dancing and food. That and he drinks.. I don't think they were alcohol but they were some weird underworld concoction that gave you a heavy buzz without the throwing up and bad side effects. Guess that's the upside to the afterlife right?

I did everything I could think of to distract Will. We played truth or dare, we danced until my calves burned. Will and Magnus seemed to have a weird "heal off" showing who was better. It was a tie. For what Magnus could do Will had a similar card up his sleeve. This one dude halfborn gunderson was making out with this red head, while also dancing at the same time. One kid was dancing with a bayonet in the corner.

Will ended up taking a walk with Magnus, deep in healing discussion. I ended up swinging around the dance floor with Alex. Heaving sweat off my brow Alex pulled me into her room to find some water to cook down. The room was as amazing as Magnus's room with an open air atrium in the middle. Collapsing under the tree she threw an ice cold water bottle at me. Sitting down next to me I found that she looked different.

"Alex are you a boy right now?"

"Yeah I am. That's funny I'm usually a girl most of the time. Maybe it's because Magnus isn't around."

"How does that work? Like are you guys just friends when your a boy and dating when your a girl?"

"Nah he's dating me all the time. Makes he sex really interesting."

"What?!"

"Yeah it's really fun cause it's like.. you never know what your gonna get!"

::::hysterical laughter break::::::

"Have you only been with Will?"

"Yeah, well consensually anyway."

"Oh shit you too huh?"

"Yeah.. long story."

"Yeah mines long too. Afterwards I ended up turning tricks on the street. Luckily I died."

"That's super fucking depressing."

"It really is but since I died... it's been great. A place to call my own, boyfriend who loves me, food!"

"Wow, well I guess that happened to me in life. Camp and all. But I was homeless for 4 years before."

"To the homeless LGBTQ youth!"

We clicked our waters together.

"I want to kiss you Nico."

"What! No I have a boyfriend."

"So do I! I don't want to sleep with you or pursue you I just want to kiss you."

"Why?"

"There are some people you just have to experience ya know? Sometimes to click with someone. So I want to kiss you."

Magnus and Will walked in just before hearing everything.

"Trying to kiss Nico?" Magnus laughed.

"Fuck yeah I am! He's adorable and he's part of the homeless club like us."

"Will I wasn't going to!"

"Nico it's fine go ahead it's a party. Plus I heard what he said. He's not trying to steal you he just wants a kiss so go for it."

Alex didn't even wait for me to decide he just pulled me in and slid his tongue down my throat. Kissing Alex was not like kissing Will. Kissing Will was like fire and Kissing alex was like water. Refreshing and comfortable.

"Wow Neeks you have one hell of a tongue! Will you lucky boy you!"

"Oh shit baby you switched while kissing him! Nico you just kissed a girl!"

Will fell over laughing so hard he couldn't catch his breath.

"What are you laughing at pretty boy come here!" Alex lunged at Will attacking his mouth with vigor.

It was so strange. I was watching Will kiss another person and I didn't feel a single bit of jealousy. Maybe it was because Alex was being honest. She didn't want to steal us from eachother. It was just a kiss. An innocent kiss. Just kids being kids in the afterlife. Will broke away from Alex a bit breathless.

"That was ... that was cool. But I don't lie still prefer the little Italians mouth."

Laughing I kissed him.

Will decided to give Alex and Magnus some privacy. Magnus gave us his room for the night. Getting ready for bed we had our showers and flopped into the amazing super comfy bed. Snuggling up to eachother Will placed his head on my shoulder allowing me to be the one to hold him for once. Will breathing started to increase but not in the hot and heavy way I was used to when he wanted to fool around. All the sudden I could feel my chest getting wet. Tears were falling from those beautiful blue eyes.

Petting his hair I cooed little shhhs and it's oks into his ear. I held him tightly and felt him sob into me harder than I had ever seen from him before. I had seen Will cry but not like this. This thing with his mom really got to him. The sobs died down a bit and then Will was kissing me. In the middle of feeling him pulling at my shorts I realized what he was doing. The thing he kept saying he didn't want me to do in the beginning is our relationship. He's trying to have sex to feel something else. To dull the pain. I stopped him.

"Will you don't want to do this. Your just upset."

"I'm sorry. I just.."

"I know baby I just don't want you to do anything you will regret tomorrow."

"Nico. I can never regret you. But I'm asking you... maybe even begging you... I need you to touch me."

The look on his eyes was heartbreaking. Will was desperate. I was a weak man. I gave in.

The next morning I could feel Will pressed against me. I felt awful giving into him like that. I just knew he was going to look at me different. The very idea of him looking at me differently started to make my heart race. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. Will stirred, he must have sensed my heart speeding up.

"Nico baby what's wrong!"

"Last night I.. I'm so sorry I just wanted to make you feel better and I did the one thing you always try not to do with me.."

Cutting me off he kissed my cheek.

"Sometimes Nico you talk to much. I knew what I was doing but the difference is that we have been dating a while. Plus I'm in love with you so I'm going to say that sometimes giving in when we want to feel something else isn't so bad. It's just bad when you are with someone you don't trust and Nico I trust you more than anyone. You are my only family."

The tears spilled over but instead of being filled with sadness and fear they were filled with love. I loved Will. He healed me over and over again and yet here I was able to help him heal a little bit. I brought him here to confront his mom and he did that. Will asked me to comfort him in a way he needed at the moment. I did that. I healed Will.

"Promise me you will never leave me."

"Will, I am never going to leave you if I can help it. I love you! I want to be with you always I want to marr..."

Oh my gods did I almost tell Will I wanted to marry him! I'm 15! What the hell am I thinking!

"Nico what were you going to say?"

"Nothing I was just.. I love you I'm not going anywhere."

"Nico were you saying you want to marry me?"

"I... yes I was going to say that. I'm sorry I just got caught up."

"Nico" he whispered.

"Yeah." I copied his hushed tone.

"I want to marry you too. When we are older though. Like atleast make it to 18 before we take the plunge."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And when that time comes I'm going to get down on one knee infront of everyone we love and I'm going to to ask you. Officially. "

"That sounds good." I was being coy trying not to show how exhilarated I felt hearing those words.

"I have something for you. "

"What?"

"I saw it down in one of the shops here while I was walking with Magnus. "

Reaching over getting his jeans he dogged in the pockets removing a small velvet box.

Opening it up he showed me two rings. One had a skull on it and the other a small sun. Both silver, small, demure. Perfect.

Slipping the sun onto my ring finger on my right hand he kissed my knuckles. I took the skull and placed it in the same finger in him copying his kiss. It was a promise. I promise to get married one day. A promise to stay together for the rest of our lives.


	14. The end of the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will makes good on his promise from Valhalla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all requested it so here it is short and sweet.

The years have gone by so quickly, like a blink of an eye. I went from this broken fragile boy to the man I always hoped I would be, happy. I was a short and skinny, scarred and explosive to the point of being volatile. I’m still short, 5’5”. I have put on weight and filled out finally. My episodes have all but vanished and haven’t seen a blackout in over a year and a half, all thanks to a ball of sunshine named Will Solace. Will forced me out of my comfort zone and made me feel loved again. It was hard at first, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight in fear that something bad would happen to him, we almost broke up twice because of it. I couldn’t help it, I needed to know he was ok. 

After some med changes and therapy I got over that as well. Will was perfect for me, I would fight to the teeth to keep him. Tonight was my 18th birthday, with that Chiron agreed that I could move to Boston with him. Will was a year ahead of me in school even though we are the same age, he was accepted into Harvard med school and moved there last fall on my fathers dime. Hades was more than happy to cover that and his apartment for not only being the love of my life, but for saving my life over and over again. Not to say it’s been a long distance relationship, I traveled to see him a few times a week and on weekends. Will was also tested through most of his school due to his natural abilities and was actually going to be finished in a couple years. I got my GED last week and applied to a nearby school close to Harvard, I figured anthropology with a main study of burial rites of different cultures was right down my alley. 

I was getting ready for Will to show up, he was coming down for my party tonight and I wanted to look ravishing. I had branched our from my black on black with a few touches of reds, purples, pinks and sometimes a rainbow something. Tonight was black skinny jeans with a purple and black baseball shirt with my rainbow belt and matching chucks, Will liked me in baseball shirts. Will had grown too, he was always tall but he topped out at 6’3” leaving the perfect height for my head to sit right under his chin... if he leaned down. Growing out his hair it now brushed his shoulders and his sense of style has gone from board shorts and a tee to slacks and a collared shirt most days. The other days he wasn’t wearing any clothes at all and I was just fine with that. 

I walked down to the beach hoping Will would already be there, I was right. The sun was just going down making the water reflect orange which only made his eyes more blue. I was shocked to see him in his old khaki shorts and Barbados tee shirt. Ugh that made me nostalgic, and giddy. Running down to meet him he grabbed me around the waist and spun me around. Kissing Will was the same as kissing him all those years ago. I couldn’t get enough of him. I saw a bonfire going but none of my friends had showed up yet. 

“Where is everyone?”

“I asked them all to meet us in an hour.”

“Wow sunshine are you trying to get me all to yourself? I’ll be moving all my stuff in this week dummy, soon you will be sick of me.”

“I could never get sick of you” sweet kisses littered the side of my smile. 

“Actually I wanted to talk to you first.” He had a serious tone in his voice.

“If everything ok?”

“Yeah, more than ok. I just need to do something first.” Without asking he started taking my right hand and taking off the rings we gave eachother all those years ago. He took his off to and put them in his pocket. 

“Will why did you take our rings off?” Is he doing what I think he’s doing?

“Nico, I love you so much. I’ve loved you through the good and the bad, through the blood and the laughter. You are sweet and amazing and everything I’ve ever wanted in someone, and we made a promise to eachother 4 years ago in a bed in Valhalla. A promise I intended to keep from the moment we made it, sure we had some rough patches but even though those times seemed like they were almost the end of us I can tell you with 100% assurance that was never going to happen. I was never going to leave you, I need you to much, love you to much. Nico I want you to marry me. Will you marry me?”

He was, he was asking me to marry him. I couldn’t breathe, I was shaking at his words. These are he words I dreamed of for the last four years, hearing them was an even more blissful feeling than I had imagined. Tears fell hot down my face as his thumbs wiped them away, the emotion in my throat was so thick that I couldn’t even answer him verbally, so I nodded my head like a maniac. Putting his hand in his other pocket he pulled out two rings. One was gold with black and yellow stones, the other was Stygian iron with the same black and yellow stones. Slipping the Stygian one on me he put the other in my hand to slip it on him.

I was looking at the most wonderful future with my future husband. I was looking at fires in our kitchen when Will attempted to cook, naked Sunday’s where we order in, stupid fights and sexy makeups, a beach wedding, buying our first home, kids. The 14 year old he stitched up in that bathroom all those years ago couldn’t even muster to dream of a future like this. I couldn’t stop crying I was so happy. 

I was ecstatic 

I was whole

I was engaged

I was in love 

I was more than ready. 

“I-I love y-you. I w-will marry you William.”

“I love you so much Nico. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I can’t wait.”


End file.
